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A jam submission

The InterviewView project page

An Inquisitors Interview with a witness
Submitted by Resembol — 21 hours, 9 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

The Interview's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concept & Originality#333.1903.190
Adherence to the Theme#332.7142.714
Flow & Clarity#332.7622.762
Overall#342.8892.889

Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted (1 edit)

Powerful and tragic, especially in the contrast between the Inquisitor's beatific appearance and gentle words, and her inhuman and ruthless actions. It's more of a legacy story than an OPR story, especially considering the nature of the "rescuers" in the battle the sergeant describes. The sergeant's description of the battle is also very detached and clinical for someone who was there, let alone still recovering from the trauma of being severely injured. His description of his injury in particular read like a medical report, not like the first-hand experience of someone who almost died.

Developer

Thanks for the feedback. I was trying to make him detached due to the meds, maybe it was too subtle, as with his injuries, i was trying to make it sound like it was what he overheard from the medics attending him. The problem with a word limit i suppose.

Submitted(+1)

Ah. Aha. Well that makes sense. Maybe having his speech be slower and more broken might have helped convey that feeling. Perhaps a line about how the Inquisitor is being patient with the sergeant's slurred words? That would lean into the "gentle facade over a monstrous core" thing you have going with her.

Submitted

interesting story, enjoyed the how it began and ended. 

Developer

Thanks, I really wanted the ending to match the beginning and vice versa. Also wanted to leave with just as many questions at the end as you started with.

Submitted

Solid concept. Found myself wishing I had gotten a chance to meet either of the characters as people

Developer(+1)

Thanks. I have a lot of it all fleshed out in my head, making little notes, really want to expand on it with more writing jams as it forces me to think more about all of their stories.