Powerful and tragic, especially in the contrast between the Inquisitor's beatific appearance and gentle words, and her inhuman and ruthless actions. It's more of a legacy story than an OPR story, especially considering the nature of the "rescuers" in the battle the sergeant describes. The sergeant's description of the battle is also very detached and clinical for someone who was there, let alone still recovering from the trauma of being severely injured. His description of his injury in particular read like a medical report, not like the first-hand experience of someone who almost died.
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Ah. Aha. Well that makes sense. Maybe having his speech be slower and more broken might have helped convey that feeling. Perhaps a line about how the Inquisitor is being patient with the sergeant's slurred words? That would lean into the "gentle facade over a monstrous core" thing you have going with her.