I didn't get too far into this because I'm not a visual novel guy, but your lore and world building is really cool.
One thing I personally think could be improved is the MC's internal dialogue felt kind of 'uptight' and 'formal' to me. It doesn't seem like how a high schooler would talk in their head. Could be good to loose them up a little.
This is not my type of game that I would normally play, so I won't judge it in it's category as I know very little. Still there seems to be a sharp juxtaposition of high-effort and low-effort assets. This hallway especially freaked me out. The contrast in the subject vs the background in these shots is distracting. Personally I would rather have a black background over AI assets.
Comments
I didn't get too far into this because I'm not a visual novel guy, but your lore and world building is really cool.
One thing I personally think could be improved is the MC's internal dialogue felt kind of 'uptight' and 'formal' to me. It doesn't seem like how a high schooler would talk in their head. Could be good to loose them up a little.