this was so... i don't know what to say. i feel like i was needing read those words, you know? i always have those same questions surrounding my head and my anxiety can make everything even worse. thank you for sharing this with us. i hope you will be okay. you can do it. you can go through everything that's holding you back.  

p.s.: english is not my native language, so i'm sorry if i said something wrong. have a good day.