I wrote a big long comment that I was going to paste into here, but then I remembered that for some reason itch doesn't let me paste text into the game rating field.

I'm absolutely convinced that Beth is to blame. I hate you Beth. Enjoy your crappy vegan ice cream. I hope the line up at Bar Ape never shrinks, and you're stuck in fake ice cream purgatory for all eternity while I goon to puma videos and my ex, who totally gets me in a way you never will, despite your sales and marketing acumen. 

I did really like your Linkedin portfolio, btw.