Honestly? If the pacing of the Steam game you're planning to release is the same as this one, it will surely flop right away.

The story is a bit boring, but that's mostly because you stay in just one place, so there's not much variation to the story, like we are actually living. I think starting in your home or somewhere else and THEN spawn in our work would be a lot better.

Just continue doing free games like these to get some feedback so you can make a good and decent game you can post on Steam, unless you have money to spare or plan to sell steam keys to get your money back.