The scene building and ambiance of the game is great, but the story...

I think you could have done better when it comes to the flow of it. What I'm trying to say is that the story could say more, even if it's small talk. I can give some examples, like in that part where we see blood in the door of the gas station. I think we could add more to that dialogue, but also make it more impactful.

Original:
There was blood on the ground...
Reworked:
What the... That's blood...
I better check it out, maybe that cashier needs help.

I just don't think someone would speak so casually after seeing so much blood like that on the floor. Some dialogue can be added when we arrive at the gas station too.

Just some small talk like I should fill up quickly and go my way. I'm just saying all this because everyone loves longer games, and I also think that could help improve your future games a lot. Just play these these more popular games like Fears of Fathom or similar, and you will know what I'm trying to say here.

Good luck! :p