TL;DR: Everything carries the writing.

Let's go through the good parts first.

With big names related to the development of the VN, it's no surprise that the Art, Music, Programming, UI, and overall production value goes insane. The plot is also very interesting, with a dystopian - sci-fi - post-apocalyptic (?) setting. Honestly, I can't wait to see where the plot takes us, although the cut-off for this chapter is a bit too sudden.

Points I especially love are the screen UIs of MC's job, the error screen; the first CG with the fox; most of the soundtracks; and the balcony CG.

One thing about the writing that was done really well is the dialogue, you can clearly differentiate and get a feel for each character's personality as the way they spoke and imply certain things differently.

Ok, now for the writing.

- Repetitive usage of certain descriptor words (only like 2-3 instances if I remember correctly.)

- Tense inconsistency (One instance in the first scene)

- Connectors that don't go anywhere/Overuse of "---" 

This is the first prominent thing that I noticed, wherein --- was used to add information, or to connect between two textboxes. Nothing wrong with that by itself, but I felt like you are overusing it to add in information that wasn't that important (and even if it is, there is probably a better way to put it in).
Another instance of this is using "---" to indicate an interruption of thoughts, which isn't really necessary imo? Point it you've already mentioned how the MC is startled, no need to indicate it with a --- anymore. 
There's also one instance of "---" that doesn't connect to anything, rather it felt more like giving the reader time to think, but it doesn't really do it's job well here. 

Another usage that I mentioned was to connect 2 textboxes because your prompt is too long, which could be simply resolved by rationing your words better between two textboxes

- Random textbox cutoffs.

Following the last point, sometimes the textbox ends in the middle of an idea, for seemingly zero purpose, it cuts off the flow of the story in an unnatural way. Usage of this for dramatic suspense is fine, but in certain parts, I feel like it doesn't achieve its intended purpose.

- Confusing descriptions/sentences.
Self-explanatory, "canvas arms"? "rising animal panic"? "a ways away"? "as far from the limited reach of the sense as I am from holding a dandelion."? Most of this makes intuitive sense (except the first one, I still have no idea), but there might be a better way to get the idea across.

- Unnecessary scenes.
The dandelion rant. That's it, I see that there's seemingly zero purpose other than to pretend to be dramatic and poetic when you really don't need to.

Finally, the other things that I want to mention. 

- BG music. There's one track (day scene at home) wherein the later parts of the track, there are really loud drums. Nothing against drummers, but isn't the point of music in a VN to enhance immersion? It's hard to focus when there are drummers bashing in the bg.

- UI bottom right indicator. In certain scene where there's little movement (especially black screen where you are supposed to feel a sense of emptiness), that flashing icon really takes your attention for all the wrong reasons.

- UI choice button looks a bit off in black screen (about the 'Descend' choice)

The writing really picks up after the first scene, but there are still some things that could be improved here and there. Can't wait for Chapter 2 <3