I've listened to a youtuber narrate this when it first came out. Decided to give it a read myself. I think it is actually about time I rated it.

Art is quite nice. Same goes for the backgrounds, text bubble, and overall layout of the sprites/guis.

Unfortunately, it fails in the storytelling department. The situation the MC finds himself in seems too unbelievable and contrived. None of the characters feel relatable or real. They do serve their purpose as plot device, pushing the story forward, and can be entertaining from time to time, but otherwise fall quite flat.

The prose isn't the best either, but it isn't bad. The pacing was surprisingly good, but other literary elements fell short. And since the story isn't that entertaining either, reading this was just a bore.

If you'd like to improve it I'd suggest raising the consequences. And I don't mean an extra bruise on Znader. Check out the 36 dramatic situations and use a few.

The themes are also overdone. Why not try something more refreshing, or a unique combination?

The characters especially need work. FANG actually feels like a safe bubble for the MC if you discount the fights. Everyone seems to be on his side and have no motives or interests of their own. It's like watching someone play chess against themselves, knowing which side is going to win from the very beginning. Seriously, don't feel afraid to just abandon Zander, break expectations, or throw in a curve ball. Readers don't mind stumbling upwards, and seem to prefer that to a smooth escalator ride up.