I didn't like this. It was shallow, for starters. And lacked depth to the characters and story. Sadly, the characters came off as two-dimensional and under-written. There wasn't really a meaningful message within, nor much real substance in the writing department. Galaxy and admiration are the only keywords and it was portrayed in such a trope-y, cliche way. Also, for some reason, it felt click-baity... and insincere. Maybe that was because the developer linked their site which led to their "shop." It didn't feel like there was much research put into the "ballerina/dance" setting.

On a writing standpoint, it was bad. There was no actual "novel"-feeling at all. No descriptive writing... thus it didn't feel like a true visual "novel." If you're (the dev) interested in VNs, please go and examine the good VNs (I'll put examples of some at the bottom of this), and see how they are more like "novels" WITH visuals. And not just purely visual. The visuals in a VN are secondary (like the icing on a cake), what matters is the writing. And if the writing is bad, the visuals won't save it. This work felt more like a comic... and if that was what I was looking for, I'd just go read a regular comic instead. Not this. This whole work you made is BETTER as a comic, but terrible as a stand alone novel. Especially if you stripped it of its visuals and examined the writing as is without it.

Here's some recommendations for VNs to read if you want to improve, analyze/study, and understand what makes a VN what it is.

Japanese-made VNs: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, The House in Fata Morgana, Raging Loop, Hashihime of the Old Book Town, True Remembrance, Nightshade (Hyakka Hyakurou), Banshee's Last Cry, Rinjin -Neighbor-, Otogirisou, Clannad, Rewrite, Cafe Enchante,

Iwaihime, Hakuoki, Narcissu, Ever17 & Remember11.

Yuri: Aoishiro, Akai Ito, FLOWERS -Le volume sur printemps-, Fatal Twelve, Letters From a Rainy Day -Oceans and Lace-

English-made VNs: Chronicles of Tal'Dun: The Remainder, Reverie: Ebon Light, The Hero's Journey, Demonheart, Fantasia : At Regime's End, Doppelganger: Dawn of the Inverted Souls, Twice Reborn, RockRobin, Crimson Spires, The Lady's Choice, The Crossroads, Cupid, Along the Edge, Across the Grooves, X-Note & Area-X, Nachtigal, Serafina's Saga, Oathbreaker, Cursed Place, Perfumare, Pitstop in Purgatory, Mysteria of the World: The forest of Death, The Silent Huntress, The Red-Handed Robin, Occult Crime Police

Sapphic:  Pale Cachexia, A Little Lily Princess, Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments, Without a Voice, DoraKone.

These work don't have as much descriptive writing but are wholesome, fluffy, felt very sincere, and I would highly recommend--the characters are well-developed: Invisible Seams, Our Life: Beginnings & Always, When the Wind Blew You Away, RE: Alistair, War of Roses, Summer Found Me, Hand in hand with destiny, Autumn's Journey.

There was only a few VNs that were presented in manga-esque format that I read which didn't feel like they suffered from lack of depth--I wish I could give more examples as inspiration: exorcist killing lie, Lucky Rabbit Reflex (only the intro), Girlish Grimoire Littlewitch Romanesque, Quartett!

Well... I would say more, but please read well-written novels (books, plus ones in VN format), and understand how a novel is structured, plus what is the point of what you're trying to say in your work. Some kind of favourable, strong, lasting impression. When trying to create a VN, it's best to not make it purely visual. No writer sets out to create a story lacking in depth and meaning. But if aspects of the plot are lacking... to readers, it may come across as hollow (intended, or not). Unfortunately, this ends up being the case here. It felt almost like it was written the way it was in an attempt to sound poetic, but to me, it came off as "fake/weak," vaguely poetic-ish lines that didn't evoke much feeling, nor any lovely visualization/imagery, or depth like REAL poetry would. So overall, the writing ended up being a let down to me, and I'm disappointed.

The visuals made me anticipate something better, but those few visuals didn't make up for the utter lack of quality writing. Unfortunately, due to the pleasant visuals, it ended up feeling like I was tricked into reading a hollow representation of a dance setting (due to the possible lack of research put into the setting itself). This is definitely an easy enough fix to do, if you ever expand on this. I also like sapphic/yuri stories, but this one leaves a lot to be desired, sadly. Because it may be a first attempt at a VN, and possibly even writing a novel... I'd say there's a lot that could be done here to improve it later down the line, if you were to ever revisit this.

Edit:

Oof. So this person doesn't know how to take a critique or blunt, honest review...

They seem to only want "gushing" comments and that's it... They deleted my comment on their page. Not to mention, they blocked me for some strange reason. Despite me initially thinking: I'll check back later on to see if they ever attempt a VN again after improving their writing craft... Obviously from that, it soured my impression. In general, I like to support developers who are open to feedback to fuel their improvement. Contrary to what I expected, they ended up not being a person who can tolerate critiques in a mature way, sadly.

I've never experienced this before when I left my opinions on writing to book-minded people in writing circles before. For example, on Goodreads, or Reddit, etc. Critiques are by no way an "attack" on the creator. Most normal people with a conscience would say: "Thanks for the critique/feedback, I appreciate it a lot. Sorry that it didn't live up to your expectations going in." Or something along those lines. Literally just acceptance that somebody took their time out of their day to write an honest review after reading the work they made.

Clearly, they don't actually want any actual feedback to help them improve. Only positive feedback can be fine, but those aren't helpful in the long run to figure out where a creator went wrong or what to do better in future work. If someone didn't care about the work, they wouldn't leave an opinion at all.

BTW, I only included an edit here to inform others of this creator's actions, so they may choose to make an informed decision whether they want to support developers like this.