This shows a lot of promise and blends a lot of ideas I've long admired, things I've wanted to design with but never have, and new ideas I find exciting and spark new ideas in my mind. Wicked!

That said, it's a bit rough at the moment and hard to understand at points. I'll do my best to get some notes up on my observations.

Really cool start! I hope you're able to successfully playtest this and get it to an end product you're happy with. I'd be down to playtest. Heck, with a little editing, I'd probably back this if it went to fundraising.