There are some stories that we are made to feel we need not just permission, but urging to tell.  We feel like we need someone to ask, and that we can only respond in dialogue carefully programmed for us by someone else.  We feel like there's a Right Way to tell these stories because when we tell them in our own way and without being asked, we're told we're disturbing status quo.  They're stories that make people uncomfortable, and we feel inclined to change things for other people.

I have been waiting for a long time trying to resolve my story into something more comfortable, something easier, something more clear-cut, because it's not bite-sized and it's complicated and people don't like that and who's asking anyway?

This made me understand that a story being big, and messy, and personal, and honest...those aren't bad things.  And it made me understand that I can't change my story just because I'm scared of what people will say.  I can't change what happened to me.  It's not simple, it's not comfortable, it's not easy to judge.  I can't change that fact.  All I can do is tell it, as best I can, in my own language.

Not all stories are made for everyone.  Some stories are made just for ourselves.  This story wasn't made for me, but I have the privilege of experiencing it, and that's something special, and something unique, and something kind, and something important.

This is something that needs to exist, and I'm grateful that the canvas wasn't left blank.