- Like that you're using an RPG engine for battle.
- I like the choice of music once you start a new game - The Flawed Cyrstals opening intro is cool
- The intro is quite long with not a whole lot of agency of choice making. It takes a long time before you can make your first choice.
- The majority of the game is walls of text. Perhaps consider chunking these into small pieces so that it's easier to read.
- I would love a lot more choices in the intro.
It looks like you've put a lot of hard work into this. Great job and keep up the good work. When do you anticipate a release?

Thank you for commenting!

When do you anticipate a release?

If you mean a completion date... my pace so far has been one section per month, so April or March 2020.

- The Flawed Cyrstals opening intro is cool

Thank you, that took some work to get right.

- The intro is quite long with not a whole lot of agency of choice making. It takes a long time before you can make your first choice.

I've heard this a few times from the Twine community, and to be honest I'm a little perplexed by it. If you're talking about the prologue that plays before the opening scroll, that's only a few pages long, shorter than most chapters in a published novel.

I suspect this may be a culture clash thing? Twine seems to have evolved from interactive fiction games, but I am almost completely unfamiliar with that genre. I based the format of the story on visual novels and jRPGs, where it is normal to have a concrete protagonist and fixed plot that requires setup before getting to interactivity.

I also based this, obviously, on fanfiction. I am a writer first, so yes, the game is going to read like a novel, and the nature of fanfiction means that I am working with established characters who can't be pushed too far by the player's choices.

- The majority of the game is walls of text. Perhaps consider chunking these into small pieces so that it's easier to read.

Really? I actually thought my paragraphs were on the short side, if anything. Can you point to specific sections where this was an issue?

- I would love a lot more choices in the intro.

What choices would you like to see? I admit, I had trouble coming up with some of the options. I acknowledge that they tend to all be a rather simplistic "good/neutral/bad" trinary.