Are there any tutorials available for VAM itself? NOT VAMX, which has a built in one. I’m trying to figure out things like how to show/hide clothes, possess, make the hands collide with the model, and more. VAM is not user friendly.

Well, actually a lot of what you just asked about can be done with vamX (without complicated VaM scene editing), except showing specific items of clothing (as opposed to loading presets of clothing where the preset replaces all current clothes with some or no clothes).

POSSESS / HAND COLLISION:
Please run the VR tutorial to learn more about possession, or check out the vamX Plugins Menu -> Embody / Possess options.  Assuming you are in VR, in that same area where you have Embody, you can scroll through the pages and toggle on/off hand collision or change the VR controller balls to hands.  All of this is covered in the VR tutorial in the vamX Scene Menu -> HELP -> VR (but even if you aren't using VR you can use Embody).  

CLOTHING
For clothing vamX can do a lot, start with this: 1) Check the Clothing tab, as you can turn off specific types of clothing (remove pants, remove underwear).  Open the Clothing tab and press the right arrow to see various clothing tab options.  2) In the Clothing tab press the first button to build female clothes.  You can load clothing sets and enable types of clothing, including piercings, hats, etc.

You might be able to get by with this, but if not:
VAM has a number of tutorials available on YouTube, but turning on/off individual clothing items isn't that hard.  In the main VaM UI where you have Edit / Play mode, toggle to Edit mode, then using the Cycle Select Person button (icon of two people) to choose a person.  You will then see many tabs and near the top left (or right in VR maybe) there are two tabs, Clothing and Clothing Presets.  Click Clothing, then change All to Active so you only see what she is wearing, and you can toggle things off.

Thanks, found out about collision on my own, but the othe tips may come in ‘hand’y. Great game by the way.