Cold Cuts & Melancholy is a two-page hack of John Harper's Lasers & Feelings, shifting the action from the final frontier to somewhere closer to home: New Jersey.

You are a Crew of mobsters and you run things in Jersey. The boss of your crime family has been hospitalized after crashing his car during one of his “spells.” Business waits for no one: collections need to be made, spouses placated, kids managed and rivals whacked. Just keep stuffing the black hole at the center of your soul with gabagool and you’ll be fine.

Is it possible to keep your family and your Family happy? Can you keep doing what you do without suffering an existential crisis? Use these quick-start Crew creation rules and the Therapy Notes Season Generator to create a rat's nest of plots, vices, and complications. Just try not to get whacked.

Pay what you want (or just grab it for free) here.