itch.io

And so it begins...

EDIT for clarity: A new update is published every 37-55 days, on average, it takes 40 days (give or take), and it's nearing 50 days. A new update should be coming within next week. If it isn't, then we have a problem on our hands.

Well, comic publishers aren't known for being trustworthy.

I believe that Bratti's tolerances are based on the hour, earlier in the night they (as you said) are statisfied rather easily, but in the later hours it's a better strategy to ignore them entirely.

As for Bratti being annoying, that is rather in-character given his name. Each doll is afforded exactly one personality trait based on what Gremlin thought was arousing that day, it doesn't matter that their characterization is flatter than Jerri's chest if they're sexy. So shut up about "good-writing" and look at their boobs (that's something an actual member of this community told me). Subtlety? Never heard of it.

Seriously, do not research the lore unless you want me to end up like me.

The animatronic movement in the original FNAF-1 was a simple 1/20 chance (the equivalent of rolling a d20 in real life), but the fact it's 1/21 concerns me. Because it means that Glacier/Pastelnerd (see, he has nerd in his name, that must mean he knows what he's doing. Right?) probably overcomplicated a system that didn't need to be. Tthe fact he tried rallying for more programmers is very telling about his own abilities.

Also, Bratti isn't a she! They're a...

they're a...

huh. Canonically, they're a doll, but they can drool; implying they have a digestive system. So not even the basic rules of the gremlin-verse makes sense.

Believe me, I don't like being negative. I tried to stay optimistic about this game, but the more I thought about it, the more I lost hope. Pastelnerd, if you're reading this, I'm not saying of this to be mean, I just fear you bit off more than you could chew, and you have no other choice but to either spit it out or risk choking.

Well, that was a rant and a half. I'm probably going to get downvoted to hell and back.

Maybe.

The game's currently going through the deepest ring of development hell and could get canned at any minute, so just try to stay optimistic.

Optimism is a rare thing these days...

Sadly, the jumpscares are indeed meme clips. After all, why actually go through the effort of writing a joke when you can just copy an image from the internet and shove it in the player's face?

Happy (early) B-day to Glacier, hope tomorrow's the best.

Nope.

Judging by who's plastering their portrait everywhere (Seriously, the factory too? Does the cult want to be a secret-society or not? Will they please make up their mind?!)

Gee, it's almost like the only thought put behind the gremlin-verse was thing = sexy...

ANYWAYS: Judging by that, it's safe to assume there are no laws against plushies.

I know I'm going to get dislike-bombed for this, but oh well, I prefer my stories not being incoherent messes... granted I'm not any better...

Please hire me as a writer! One can only handle literary Ebola for so long!

Happy Hallow's-eve!

Was bored. Drew this. Enjoy my shitty art.

Edit: Don't get too attached; we all know how War of the Worlds ends. The invaders are not adapted to Mars' lack of a magnetosphere, so they all get cancer and die.

Edit 2: Before you fuckers start drawing tentacle porn I must clarify one thing: I airlifted the Martians from my own sci-fi world, the way I always envisioned Martians are as British, heartless intellectuals. They reproduce Asexually, they don't know what sex is.

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Blame Clickteam

Do you need an ambulance?

Are you sure bud? I've had this dumb game downloaded since day one, and I didn't get any virus problems. Are you sure this is the only thing you downloaded?

Or is it just confirmation bias?

Welcome to the club, Tutz. You have been claimed by the rabbit. there is no escape. I recommend you make peace with your loved ones, because you will never leave this factory... and I don't mean that as a good thing.

I'm aware my advice may not be helpful due to the difference in game-type, but I have plenty experience in game design (Game design for board/card-games, but games nonetheless). Rules are to board-games what code is to video-games (albeit with some caveats I'll clarify later.) Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

To Clarify: Humans and machine are different (duh). In a board-game's rules our human brains have the special ability to interpret any discrepancies and vagueness in rule books. But the machines in video-games function differently, to put into words: The good thing about machines is that they do exactly what you tell them to do. The bad thing about machines is that they do exactly what you tell them to do. Machines of code cannot interpret discrepancies or vague code; they take everything literally. If your code isn't bulletproof then the game you're making will break.

My advice...

Declutter: If you see a mechanic that isn't integral to the game, remove it. It may hurt to do it, but remove any easter-eggs until after the product is finished; old code can tarnish new code.

Scrutinize & Simplify: It will take a long time to do, but really look at your code. If you find a feedback loop, remove it. If you find a redundancy, remove it. If you find an error, fix it. It will be tedious. It will cause you to lose hope. But, trust me, the reward will be worth it.

DON'T RUSH IT: The community/fandom will be breathing down your neck the entire time, but do not give in to their siren's call and rush out the product, because YOU. WILL. REGRET. IT. No one wants a turd published when they were expecting gold. This will delay LDTF's release by another year or two, but the outcome will be worth it. The community will both be impatient and expect perfection; after all, you can't please everyone.

[Edit: Yes, I do see the irony of emphasizing not rushing things while rushing out this very comment]

I stand corrected.

But, even then, this still doesn't compensate for their uneven weight distribution and how their... err cup-size makes general movement cumbersome and difficult. I guess the supernatural part of their biology includes Mary Sue black-magic.

Tangent 1: I originally said "Mary Sue black-magic" as a joke. But, after I began thinking about it, I had a rather upsetting revalation. All of the LoveDolls and cult members (excluding Jerri, Gremmi, Slick, Slug, Mage, blah-blah-blah) classify as Mary Sues.

Allow me to explain, all of them have their wants granted to them, the most challenge they face is that their victims (I'm using victims in the heaviest sense of the word. It doesn't matter how "pleasurable" it is, torture is still torture, and equally as vile) resist, and when they do face a genuine threat they somehow manage to pacify it without issue.

To use an example PID Caitlyn managed to single-handedly kill (the original text said "defeated", but we all know what he meant by that) Teddibear, the flagship of Impuro's army, with (presumably) 0 prior combat experience. And how does the greater cult react? They just impurify her, just like that, no big fight, just that.

I know you might say that their general incompetence that I pointed out earlier counts as a flaw, thus declassifying them as Mary Sues. But, saying that would make you a fool, because their incompetence needs to actually mean something, it needs to get in their way. And, as you can guess, it doesn't.

You know those wojak memes where someone is reading smut "for the plot". Well, I'm being genuine when I say I got interested in the Gremlin-verse for the plot, the porn was set-dressing to me. "A grimy, industrialist, almost Orwellian dystopia ran by a senile elder god? What isn't there to love," I thought, oblivious that this was going to be the most confusing 1-4 months of my life.

I'm still sticking around though, hopefully it will get better. Hopefully...

(Probably going to get dislike-bombed for this. But oh well, shit happens.

Err, no. The demo is just the custom night. Go check out the... subscription, if you want a little more. (I hate subscription services, so I can't speak on what that's like.) 

Oh, I'll go check when the next update is. Just let me get my time machine handy...

But that's the boring answer!

Where's the nonsensical, batshit, and impractical explanations I've come to expect from this universe?!

I'm up-voting. the deadpan response made me laugh.

Oh yeah, just one quick question.

When a doll opens their mouth, why is it all white?

It's most definitely their teeth. But my Martian brain has a funnier idea...

It's paint.

They eat paint, mistaking it for sperm.

I'd normally snark about you patting yourself on the back, but I think the size of your head makes it difficult to reach that far.

Don't take it personally.

Edit: Grammar, I really need to get better at detecting it.

Is that a sad emoticon with a unibrow?

What's got him so glum? Bet he couldn't bear with Teddi anymore. Ya know, I think he should be a lot more merry around his colleagues; at least he's not being a brat about it. Does he hop when he's mad, or does he start getting catty and call people names?

If I were to be honest, he looks kind of creepy. Should I call security?

Edit: grammar

That was a joke, mate. I'm sorry you took it that way.

Seriously, jumpscares are integral to horror, yes, other factors exist to making a good horror game, but playing a horror-game despite hating horror is like watching Saving Private Ryan and expecting the opening to not be stressful. (Edit 2: If you haven't seen this movie before... then I hope that you don't have a heart attack.)

I know that some people are sensitive to certain things, but pestering others to cater to your specific needs (and I'm speaking from experience here) often only makes things worse.

I am sorry, but, chances are, 9 times out of 10, there won't be a "no-jumpscare" option.

Also, "profitability" won't be a factor for the LDTF, both in universe, and in real life, as Glacier himself said that the game would be free. If you want Teddi to be less violent, you have to take that up to the big man in charge. (Although, big is quite the overstatement)

Edit: Please do not respond, I do not want to waste my time on another flame war. That, and I'm already hated in this community, as is.

Short answer: Suck it up.

Long answer: It's a horror game, there probably won't be an option for that

Edit: Grammar

Oh yeah, in my case I just show them my Warhammer collection, it's an instant turn-off for them; they get so disappointed at how pathetic I am that they instantly turn around and leave the office!

Edit: It even works in real life!

As I said earlier, the only thing consistent about the Gremlin-verse is its inconsistencies.

I used these two images:

When calculating height, as I feel it gives a pretty unbiased view of their height without things like perspective and posing getting in the way and making measurements difficult; Although, I can see why you chose to use the actual game for your estimates.

Edit: Especially for Teddi and Teddibear, you can see what I mean by their bodies being very unstable for general movement, with their center of mass clearly located somewhere near the chest instead of at the hips for normal humans.

Edit 2: I'm not saying that your sources are inherently worse than mine. I just personally perfer these two as they appear more reliable and easy. The only way we'll know the heights for sure is by asking the big-man himself...

OI, GLACIER, HOW TALL ARE THESE BLOODY DOLLS!

I know that they fesibly walk, my issue was with them walking on two feet, considering their top-heavy frames, not only will their backs be pulverized due to the gravitational pull of [Planet Name] and the size of their stuff. Not to mention, the center of gravity for most Lovedolls (excluding Jerri and Bratti) is fucked, being higher than it reasonably should be. Hoppi would fare better in this regard, but would still have difficulty standing upright. Horses are quadrupedal for a reason. And even then, they would still have trouble moving with any efficiency at all. (To further add to my point, some people, in real life, get breast-reduction surgery to make movement less cumbersome). In most cases I can only see LoveDolls moving on all fours with heavy difficulties. Making them muscle-mommies (I just felt 5-brain-cells die when I was typing that) doesn't help either, because it increases their weight while not fixing the center-of-mass problem. Just like us humans evolved to become bipedal, losing the ability to walk on 4-legs, I fear that the same has happened to Impuro's subjects, rendering them immobile once more.

Upon retrospect, it's a miracle Impuro's cult hasn't died already, the bulk of their armed forces consists of braindead rabbits incapable of handling moderately complex instructions, their tank-units (LoveDolls) and practically immobile, unable to pull off the high-speed maneuvers promised, their elite hood-gals are more concerned about what Mage is doing than actually ensuring their seat-of-power is actually stable. In my numerous battle-simulations (aka, me, a grown ass man, playing with army-men and Warhammer miniatures while making gun sounds with my mouth, I'm aware how pathetic that sounds.) with these new variables. I have concluded that all it takes to usurp Impuro's throne is 100 or so under-funded malitia-men and women (mostly from labor unions, conservative groups, and other people who don't like the idea of being some decadent god's chew-toy.) all armed with rifles and tractors. Either that, or 2 Russian teenagers armed with a log. During my short time in the discord server, I find frankly humorous that they like portraying the cult as a bastion of strength only the SCP-foundation could defeat, even though there are trees more threatening than the cult when you at it through a strictly pragmatic lense. I'd often get comments about how "no one can resist their charm" when making this claim, but people get desensitized to boobies over time (I would know because it happened to me, thus starting my war against Impuro because I actually sat down and realized how pathetic I am, before ultimately deciding to double down and become even more pathetic by making these stupid posts over-analyzing porn. Brains are stupid. Mine especially) meaning that their seductions would eventually land on deaf ears-rendering their one true strength zilch.

Edit: I forgot to include this until after the fact, but lets entertain the idea that Impuro's units being muscle-mommies and thus retaining their mobility.

(to clarify: in these educated assumptions, I'm working with the logic that the Resistance doesn't have access to any aircraft. Because, if they did have airplanes it would stop being (somewhat) fair fights and become 1-sided massacres.)

Good news: Grab your popcorn, the fights between Impuro and the Resistance Forces are going to a be a lot more entertaining to watch, especially when the armies enter melee range of each other.

Bad news: Humans are known for their adaptability and would equip themselves with longer-range rifles, and since Impuro's army is only capable of using melee, that means that they're at the mercy of Resistance snipers and artillery, so those melee duels would stop happening fairly quickly as the Resistance works to maintain their range advantage. Catti/Bratti "cavalry units" could offset this by a little, but if the Resistance is smart and fortifies with barbed wire, those units will get tangled and slowed to a crawl.

EDIT 2: In short (still assuming aircraft don't exist), any combat between Resistance armies and Impuro would quickly devolve into trench-warfare and attrition until a major breakthrough occurs.

Well, that is quite the question

All LoveDolls (blue mice, purple bears, and humans in suits not withstanding) are around the same height of around 11-12 feet tall. Jerri is roughly 6-foot. Teddibear is marginally taller than the rest standing at about 13-15 feet tall (around the same height as a Rogal Dorn heavy tank, just in case the Imperium finally listens to my radio calls and squishes Impuro). And as for Creepi... It's complicated, one thing you'd learn fairly quickly when actually analyzing the Gremlin-verse is how nothing makes sense and that only consistent thing is its inconsistency. In one image I tried using Caitlyn as a base-average height for the Impurified, but in another image she's shorter. I'm single-handedly keeping Tylenol in business with how many headaches this caused me.

ANYWAYS! As for their weight, it's a lot more simple to calculate, Jerri ways the same as the average adult man (190 lbs), as for Teddi-n-the bunch, I decided to go with the rather conservative estimate of 1000+ lbs (notice how Teddi is twice Jerri's height yet her weight is more than twice? That's because of something something, square cube law. Realistically, everyone except for Jerri would collapse under their own weight and would be entirely immobile for long periods of time. If you ever get in a fight with Teddibear, just poke her in the legs with a stick and she'll be stuck on the floor for the next 3-5 hours.)

How did I get these numbers? Math, lots of math. I'm one of those weirdos who likes math. DON'T JUDGE ME!

As for the second question, I must say that LoveDolls/Cryptids/Impure Creatures/Hood-Gals are a mix of all three, paranormal, technological, and biological. All four types are made entirely of Impuro's energy, an inherently paranormal substance that I suspect requires nutrients to survive like human cells (In one image Bratti can be seen eating a popsicle, indirectly implying that they need sustenance, like food and water, to survive. Not to mention (as you said earlier) they can drool, adding to the idea that they have a digestive system. Impure Creatures specifically digest sperm for nutrients (sperm barely has any, by the way. Might I suggest blood? For efficiency's sake?) in order to reproduce asexually (They bud off a parent, by a textbook definition, they reproduce asexually). The Technological claim might be a bit of reach, even by my standards, but hear me out. Security has a light-bulb on the top of her large forehead, and, in a singular image, it lights up when exited. This implies that Impure energy is able to both interface with technology, and transmit/receive electrical signals like a human neuron, albeit heavily amplified to allow for enough voltage to power the bulb in the first place.

Decided to split this up into a separate paragraphs, here is when I enter my mad-scientist arc.

Technically, with Impure energy being technological, this means someone, anyone, can purchase a doll only to experiment on them for the greater good. I could throw one into a blender, and then turn the stringy fibers that come out of it into thread, then weave that thread to form a new, better electrical system, a system cheaper than copper, a system that can withstand higher voltages without blowing up. What if I go further, as every good dictator knows, the moment something new pops up, the first thing you have to do is weaponize it. I could kidnap one singular Impure creature and then place them in a cage, sacrifice someone to it and now I have two creatures. I then take the "child" and give it a controlled shock to wipe it clean. Since the LoveDoll manufacturing process involves imprinting a new personality, likes, and dislikes onto a fresh canvas, I say we copy that, imprint our own programming onto our new war-bots, a programming severed from Impuro's grasp, a programming loyal to the dictator and their republic. Chop off those useless stubs they call "hands" and replace them with new ones, ones capable of gripping a weapon. We cover the thing a new metallic shell capable of deflecting small arms fire. If your budget is adequate, we can even attach radios to them, allowing them to coordinate strikes, pushes, and retreats at scales previously thought infeasible. Since we only need one creature to create thousands, that means we can have a theoretically infinite armada of war-bots ready to serve under our new empire. From here we can either sell these bots and become rich, or we can use them for ourselves, taking over country after country until Impuro herself is trembling under our imperial might!

Phew! That was a mouthful. I cannot answer on personalities though, I'm bad at analyzing that.

EDIT: Fixed the numbers

EDIT 2: As for your 3rd question... Do you even know what you're talking about? LoveDolls are creations of Impuro, a god responsible for literal fucking genocide, call me doll-ist all you want, but I think there isn't a singular wholesome bone in their body.

I can't answer any of these, but I can muse on the first question.

It's because there are only 2 women in Glacier's life, one of those is his mother. (That was a joke)

The more likely reason is that he asked other people, but they refused, and for fairly obvious reasons. (How would you explain to your employer that your first major voice-acting gig was for a lewd FNaF clone?)

EDIT: Grammar

Well, all of those ideas are better suited in a book than a game format (although a C&C-style RTS set in this universe would be awesome) And the tones/themes of some of these stories won't boat well with the target audience (they want smut, not a commentary on how exploitative the sex-industry is) They want dominatrixes in pink/blue/red/yellow hoodies, not how said dominatrixes are directly thriving off a fascist regime built on the exploitation of others (Sorry if this came out as butthurt, I just needed to vent. Parasocial city, here we come!) And truth be told, I have biases too, I'd rather crash a T-34 into the factory lobby than give up on Hoppi (she's the best and you can fight me on that, and I will lose nine times out of ten) She's the best because she experiences emotions other than just lust (how much do you want to bet the very next development update is going to force me to backpedal on that? But, then again, you are the developer, so that's an unfair betting scenario...)

I disagree with your stance regarding the lore, sure, it's cliche, but I feel that it has the most potential for storytelling.

Just think about it...

What if one of the LoveDolls starts learning about the outside world, realising how sheltered and out-of-touch the factory is, eventually resenting the factory/cult for ripping their life away from them and treating them like toys instead of the sentient beings that they are.

The cult's natural enemies (Ie, Germany, some of Eastern Europe, Russia, China, and the entire Arabic World, India included) fighting for their life, their family, their sovereignty against a seemingly unstoppable empire.

A police detective uses the factory to solve the previously cold case of Caitlyn's kidnapping, unveiling the deep conspiracy interwoven throughout the government, economy, and life as a whole.

A LoveDoll successfully escapes the velvet cage of the factory, only to see that no one sees them as people, only as objects to be ogled, used, and sold at the highest bidder.

A classic nature versus nurture tale about two dolls, one raised in a barn family, the both eventually meeting only to see that, although they were built with the same blueprint, each one is its own unique person and identity.

A LoveDoll experiencing a genuine emotional connection with one of the employees, only to have that friendship ripped away and torn apart right in front of them.

With the god of death being dead themselves, no one is there to shepherd souls into the afterlife, and limbo grew crowded, so they spewed into the land of the living, possessing their rotting carcasses, purging the impure that forced them into this situation, reviving the god of death so they can finally get respite.

This is the stuff I live for: tales of empires rising, empires falling, tales of getting consumed (literally in this case) by the allure of carnal pleasure, becoming vapid, shallow husks of who they once were, tales of beings, blinded by their circumstances into serving a cruel, uncaring, power-hungry god, oblivious that a better life awaits them past those elusive factory doors, tales of one's own lust and hunger for power causing their ultimate, justified demise.

But I probably won't be the one writing those stories, I already blew my shot, and the community seems not to be the forgiving type.

And, yes, I am very passionate about what I do.

Edit: Didn't realise this until after the fact, but Impuro is a (probably unintentional) A+ commentary on addiction and what I like to call "Fascism wrapped in velvet", where people abuse the impoverished and downtrotten, luring them in the promise of manufactured happiness, before pulling them in, chewing them up, before spitting them out, leaving them broken, empty, and devoted to their abuser, conditioning them into believing this is normal, this is right.

And this is the road both you, the nightguard, and Teddi & Co, find themselves in, but one of these never had a choice in the matter, born into a carnival and debauchery and depravity, forced to be a puppet to someone ungrateful and vile, forced to be a cog in someone else's machine...

But it doesn't have to be this way.

Both countries, cults, companies, and societal structures are like Jenga towers; knock out one brick, and then the whole thing comes crumbling down. They don't oppress because they're evil; they oppress because they're afraid, afraid of people like you rising to power and toppling their empire. You can't knock over the entire tower on your own, but you don't need to. Just whisper deceit and paranoia into a Cultist's ears, salt the soil Creatures grow out of, and then sit back as the tower rips itself apart.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely...

Or you can take the fun route and drive a T-34 through the front door, whatever works for you.

(In a Victorian accent)

Ah, yes, we must refrain from using such... vulgarities in our vocabulary, lest we frighten the locals with our indecent language.

Perish the thought...

The publisher said that it's due to ClickTeam and most anti-virus software creating false positives.

Question: When Jerri gets implemented will he be an ally to the player? From a motivation prospective it makes sense, due to both parties (Jerri and the player) wanting to survive the night.