Post by A Friendly Martian in Lovedoll Toy Factory comments

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A Friendly Martian48 days ago (2 edits) (+3)

As I said earlier, the only thing consistent about the Gremlin-verse is its inconsistencies.

I used these two images:

When calculating height, as I feel it gives a pretty unbiased view of their height without things like perspective and posing getting in the way and making measurements difficult; Although, I can see why you chose to use the actual game for your estimates.

Edit: Especially for Teddi and Teddibear, you can see what I mean by their bodies being very unstable for general movement, with their center of mass clearly located somewhere near the chest instead of at the hips for normal humans.

Edit 2: I'm not saying that your sources are inherently worse than mine. I just personally perfer these two as they appear more reliable and easy. The only way we'll know the heights for sure is by asking the big-man himself...

OI, GLACIER, HOW TALL ARE THESE BLOODY DOLLS!

Udaman-7748 days ago (10 edits) (+1)

Assuming that they have a human density (65 lb/ft^3)

And take a human of a roughly proportional size (260 lb, 5’9” or 5.75 ft)

Calculate the volume of the human:

260 lb

—————— = 4 ft^3
65 lb/ft^3

We will assume the shape of the human to be a cylinder and solve the radius:

V = h * pi * r^2

(V/(h*pi))^1/2 = r

r = 0.47

(I know this looks like a weird number, but you gotta remember that we are not taking into account empty space and round edges)

We proportionately increase both height and radius until we reach about 9 feet of height:

9 ft

——— = 1.565

5.75ft

0.47 * 1.565 ‎ = 0.736

We solve for the volume for the upscaled cylinder:

V = h * pi * r^2

V = 15.3

And then finally the weight:

15.3 * 65 ‎ = 996.7 lb

For reference, the heaviest man in the world, Jon Brower Minnoch (1941-1983), weighing in at 1400 lb, 6’1”.

Edit: There were plenty of animals which both were bipetal and weighed over 1000 pounds, but are now extinct, like the T-Rex or the elephant birds of Madagascar.

Edit2: Disclaimer: this makes the following assumptions:

-That the human and Teddi are proportionately accurate

-That the ratio among organs, fat, muscle, bone, etc. are likewise remains proportional.

-What Teddi is made of is even human proportional begin with.

Edit3: center of mass concern critique: though yes they do have a larger… *cough* chest… than normal, it’s important to consider the fact that:

1. Their legs are still FAR bigger than their chest, so if the center of mass were to raise, it wouldn’t raise that far.

& 2. The material which they are made of and the densities there of:

Air (lungs): 0.075 lb/ft^3

Fat: 57 lb/ft^3

Milk: 64 lb/ft^3

Muscle: 66 lb/ft^3

Bone: 120 lb/ft^3

So given the fact that the chest contains more of the first two and with legs the latter. The fact that center of mass would be issue, is unlikely. They just need strong back muscles, which I’m sure they’ve already developed from their “activities”.

A Friendly Martian37 days ago

I stand corrected.

But, even then, this still doesn't compensate for their uneven weight distribution and how their... err cup-size makes general movement cumbersome and difficult. I guess the supernatural part of their biology includes Mary Sue black-magic.

Tangent 1: I originally said "Mary Sue black-magic" as a joke. But, after I began thinking about it, I had a rather upsetting revalation. All of the LoveDolls and cult members (excluding Jerri, Gremmi, Slick, Slug, Mage, blah-blah-blah) classify as Mary Sues.

Allow me to explain, all of them have their wants granted to them, the most challenge they face is that their victims (I'm using victims in the heaviest sense of the word. It doesn't matter how "pleasurable" it is, torture is still torture, and equally as vile) resist, and when they do face a genuine threat they somehow manage to pacify it without issue.

To use an example PID Caitlyn managed to single-handedly kill (the original text said "defeated", but we all know what he meant by that) Teddibear, the flagship of Impuro's army, with (presumably) 0 prior combat experience. And how does the greater cult react? They just impurify her, just like that, no big fight, just that.

I know you might say that their general incompetence that I pointed out earlier counts as a flaw, thus declassifying them as Mary Sues. But, saying that would make you a fool, because their incompetence needs to actually mean something, it needs to get in their way. And, as you can guess, it doesn't.

You know those wojak memes where someone is reading smut "for the plot". Well, I'm being genuine when I say I got interested in the Gremlin-verse for the plot, the porn was set-dressing to me. "A grimy, industrialist, almost Orwellian dystopia ran by a senile elder god? What isn't there to love," I thought, oblivious that this was going to be the most confusing 1-4 months of my life.

I'm still sticking around though, hopefully it will get better. Hopefully...

(Probably going to get dislike-bombed for this. But oh well, shit happens.

itch.io

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