itch.io

In a word: metal. The sheer existential HORROR of a 2D6 table that you have to roll off of to decide what you forget hits unbelievably hard (ever try weed?). I can perfectly envision the shock and subsequent terror that rolling a 2 would cause to a table of players.

Your layouts are really fun. I like your usage of blocky shapes. It plays well with the sense of alienation that rings throughout the visual language of this mission. I'm not sure I like all of your color choices, but the way you've blocked things out across the pages is largely stylish and furthers the encroaching alienation of moneyed architecture. I'd have liked more content in the mission itself playing with that feeling, though.

The bank robbery stuff is cool, but maybe you could enhance that feeling of smallness by bringing your undead cast of characters a bit more down to Earth. Not necessarily by changing what's already there, but I think it might be a mistake to have them "just" be assholes. If I were making this, I would ground them in something more tangible. Give them a little more life and a little more personally going on. As it stands, they're definitely more than just stat blocks, but they come off a bit like... well, NPCs in a tabletop game. That's fine if that's all you want them to be (it certainly works mechanically, and I doubt a table of players would be upset about it), but I actually think it robs the narrative of a human element that it could really excel at with just that little bit of extra work.

I'd also lean in a little bit harder to the fact that there seems to be no clear answer where the bill came from. That plays very nicely with the theme of forgetting. There are some things you can never know, after all!

It's a bit short on moment-to-moment gameplay. It's not exactly clear what players are meant to do on a moment to moment basis, how events are meant to play out, or what challenges are meant to occur when. There's a large possibility space, but it's actually so large that it lacks clear definition. It's difficult to imagine in clear terms how the gameplay would occur at a table, beyond "the players walk in, find the code, and go to the vault." 

If you were to expand this beyond the scope of a jam submission, I would consider focusing on fleshing out the locations within the bank to create a bit more of a sense of physicality. I suspect this would mesh well with the overall vibe I've been talking about, while also giving a little bit more structure for GMs to go off of. Maybe it would be something of a dungeon crawl. I'd maybe also create a bit more of a structured narrative framework for how the NPCs interact for similar reasons.

By the way, I think your third page might have exported incorrectly—it doesn't match the preview when reading it in Firefox. I don't see the word "bill" at all. That could be a browser issue, though.

This is a great mission. Stylish, moody. Super cool. Love what you've done with it.

This is a great little sandbox. My largest criticism is that I wish there was more of it. What you've provided in just three pages is a very rich gameplay space that excites me to run it.

You do a great job conveying the coolness of wizards. I don't think you necessarily need it for this mission, as what you've included is already very good, but I think it might be enhanced by more attention to its narrative fabric. A little "victory lap," so to speak, to fill out the extra space you've got left over. It would only make this mission cooler. More thematic intrigue, more questions, more of whatever you love about this mission.

I really like the non-standard setup, by the way. Not so much of a "FIST, come help!" kind of mission as it is a "hey there's treasure" kind of mission. I find that kind of thing engaging.

This is a fun one.

I love the dynamism added by the role mechanic. I can imagine playing this mission several times and being delighted each and every time by the different versions of the characters presented in each game. It's a very elegant way to not only add suspense, but to increase the variability of each game. Great choice.

Your descriptions are excellent. They give so much while leaving so much more to the imagination. A fantastic foundation for any GM to build on. I love the way you describe your characters. Brief but effective.

You do an excellent job of making the mission feel like an action movie. Just reading it gets my blood pumping. There's something to be said for presentation—you do a good job with it. You have a great sense of tension, pacing, and narrative flow.

Layout work is good. It's clear that you do this in a professional capacity. You could certainly delve into some more experimental territory if you wanted to, but I don't think you need to. You clearly have a solid grasp on what you're making and the layout is effective at conveying information and providing just enough visual intrigue to break things up. Doesn't necessarily speak to me, but that's okay.

The photos included do speak to me. The way you've edited them is really cool looking, and they give just enough of a visual reference to imagine what these scenes look like without being overbearing.

I adore the goofiness of Act 2's encounters. Really fun way to break the tension.

Some might call it anticlimactic, but I actually really like the way you set up the aftermath of the final decision. It really effectively highlights the thematic tension at the center of a narrative in the way an inevitable fight wouldn't. It's a good artistic choice.

Great mission. Good storytelling. Looking forward to running this one sometime.

Pretty simple, pretty sweet. Has some good flavor. Layout is clean, though I personally would like a little more to look at throughout the pages. Limited time-frame, though, so I understand focusing your efforts on the latter pages, in particular.

I do find it a bit hard to navigate the document. Not to a disastrous degree or anything, but I don't think this mission is long enough to necessarily need a glossary-style page to define its nouns. In my opinion, it might make more sense to position the descriptions for the Fractal Vast, Mothlight Core, and Red Light Protocol nearer to the places they come up in the actual mission for ease of access. That might have been a bit trickier to organize layout-wise, but it would have made more sense to my ADHD brain. Having all of the terms grouped together and described on one page makes it a bit tougher for me to stay focused while reading through. This might have been improved by just shoving the page at the end or something, though.

I love how evocative the Fractal Vast is. Each location is better than the last (though there does appear to be a typo in cell 3!) and you do a fantastic job of connecting characters with the cells they're found in. I think the Red Light Protocol being the only potential obstacle at the Mothlight Core is a bit underwhelming in terms of just reading it out of the document, but I think it would probably play well at an actual table. It's a good, stylish parting blow for sure. You could very easily elevate the mission by pairing something with a bit more of a thematic/narrative punch with it, though. As it stands, this is a super fun, brisk TTRPG mission, but it absolutely has the potential for some real juice to be squeezed out of it. Something that really makes it yours.

Getting back to what I was saying about the layout earlier, it's a bit underdone for my taste. Don't get me wrong, it looks nice, has no frills, and is more than good enough for the purposes of a jam like this, but I can definitely feel the difference in care between pages. The last few pages clearly got more love than the first few, and there isn't much color throughout the entire document. The first few pages are particularly monotonous visually, which doesn't make it the easiest for me to read. 

There's also a lot of unused space. That space would have been used well if it contained additional details about some of the locations, characters, phenomena, etc. Not that the mission is particularly lacking in that department, but a little extra might have added more character to the mission.

Overall, though, this is a great mission! You did a good job with this one. Congrats!

For starters, this is a cool prompt, and you've done some cool stuff with it. I like the idea of the psychic tendrils, and the idea of including a table of local people and places that have been drawn into the void is a really natural fit to demonstrate the impact of this boss. It's also super sick to put the growth of the hole on such a short timer. Four hours until it consumes the entire world? Whoof, that's heavy. Classic.

I do really find myself wishing for more, though. It does feel a bit like a random collection of obstacles tossed into a hole like action figures—not necessarily a bad thing, and I'm sure for some GMs that's exactly what they want out of this kind of mission, so if that's what you were aiming for with this, then, hey, great job. This is definitely a mission that I could run and have a great time with. The Ottomon Skeletons seem like a fun encounter.

That said, I personally would have been more drawn into the mission if there was a richer connection between the people, places, and objects that have fallen into the hole. A stronger sense of community, maybe. More exploration into the psychological state of Anahid the Beheaded, and how the objects she draws into the hole relate to that. Perhaps a stronger characterization of the hole itself. Maybe each building could have been a little more fleshed out. These are all just some subjective ideas as to how I would have made this mission, though.

I do agree with Wyn's comment. It's a bit vague how players are meant to progress through the hole, beyond just "fall down." Is there a set number of encounters they're meant to have before running into Anahid? Is the GM meant to play it by ear? Not a huge problem, as I'm sure a competent GM wouldn't be running a mission blind out of the book and would have some amount of time to iron things out ahead of time, or at least could improvise, but some more guidance would be very helpful.

The layout is perfectly serviceable. Given the time-frame of the jam, I don't expect everybody to have made the most gorgeous layouts ever (I tried to do that and didn't finish my entry in time! Whoops! Still working on it). That said, it's a bit plain. Gets the job done, not a problem if you just want to get your stuff on a page and put it online. I haven't looked at your other work yet, so I don't know if this is moreso just a product of game jam crunch (apologies if it is), but if you would like to pursue more technical layout work in future projects, I had a lot of luck looking through NotPotableWater's Rolodex of Free Design Resources (which I assume I can share here, though I'll delete this link if asked to: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JDbKTa2xBKVAZE7Dy5BNLjfbHocJhyMcGluOQAKU9KA/) which was sent in the FIST Discord's thread for the Gashapon Jam. In particular, I've been enjoying using coolors.co for color palette creation. That might be a useful tool to make your projects look a bit prettier, if that's something you want to invest your energy into. Pretty graphic design is definitely more of a nice-to-have than a requirement, though.

Hopefully this was helpful for you!

Really great. Your layout work is a treat to look at. Got a little confused trying to read the first page—the section about procurement should probably be at the bottom right somewhere, rather than crammed into the top left. Tripped me up.

Still, absolutely gorgeous! I love how saturated and colorful each page is. You clearly put a lot of care into the way things look, and it shows. The maximalist graphic design style gives my eyes plenty to look at. In terms of raw sensory enjoyment, the first page is my favorite to look at, just because it crams in so much detail while also maintaining a solid visual cohesion. The second page suffers a bit on the visual cohesion front, but the third page is good. I also have to echo the sentiment about the red line running through each page. Awesome detail.

Oh, and your cover is BREATHTAKING.

It's very easy to imagine how I'd play Colonel Kraken, but I think in a perfect world I'd want a little more to go off of for Johnny and the pirates. Same with the NRL research priorities. I could certainly work with the details provided, but it'd be nice to be given more of a solid base for what each one is meant to be, and what their labs look like. 

Lots of fun mechanics. Great job with this!

you might just be right....

um... are you a fed?

you did? when? what was it like?

it's just a bit suspicious to me, is all. i was watching everyone on youtube play it all the time as a teenager and in college but this card never came up. how did it get in there?

wow! this is so helpful. i've never actually seen this card before, though, and i had a pretty intensive cards against humanity phase a few years ago. is it possible something untoward has happened?

I had to do it. Looking forward to playing this!

Shame on DriveThruRPG! But at the very least, the ban is how I heard about this game, so now I'm considering buying it.

Thanks for the clarification!

Played this with some friends. It was pretty fun, but we only played 4 holes of it.

There were a few things we were unsure about.

• How often do the Control and Power abilities from the Progression Rules get to be used? We wound up landing on once per round for Power and as many times per round for Control as you have points.
• Do effects count when you're teeing? We ruled that they didn't, but it's unclear if, for example, the pits on Circle 4 applied when you were just beginning the round or only if you landed on them.
• Are scores just counted up from zero each hole? Or do you subtract the par from the number of strokes plus penalties? We ruled that it was just counted up from zero.
• Do the special clubs get handed out to everyone with the highest score? Is it based on total score or just for that hole? We gave everyone with the highest total score the rewards, which resulted in two of us getting the Locked Iron and two of us getting the Ghost Wedge.
• Do the points from the Progression Rules also get handed out to everyone with the highest score? And again, is it based on the total score or the score for that circle? We gave everyone tied for last in the total score a point.

It felt like some of the events were a bit too rare. None of us fell off on The Spire despite four of us playing. In fact, I don't think hooking or slicing came up at all until after one of us had the Locked Iron, which wound up negating it. It didn't happen again. Seems a bit too rare to be a real problem, especially once you factor in some of the Progression abilities. Maybe I'll try this again with one player and no Progression.

One of the people I played with mentioned it could be fun if there was more interaction between players somehow. I think I agree. It'd be cool to have more choice over what to do so it's not just picking a club and adding up your rolls every turn. Maybe if you could attack other players or interfere with their stroke.

Thanks for making this! I got it from the Supernatural TTRPGs bundle. This is a fun little concept for a game. Decent way to spend a few hours. I had a few memorable moments, like my ball stopping right on the edge of the sloped highway and barely avoiding landing in a pit. 

I do also really enjoy having the opportunity to actually do a lot of dice rolling since it doesn't always come up in more roleplay focused games. Keep up the good work! :)

not me about to cry because of a five minute long game

This game was exactly what I needed in my life right now. Thanks.