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Love to see the Bayou Billy name generator. A L Hurt! Toulouse L’attack! Clean layout and good use of space. I would have liked to see a bit more formatting on text. Taking on the booklet size was no joke and you did a great job! Love the variety of encounters and faction play.This one's a real contender, great work.

Thank you for reading! The small format and ambitious scope definitely meant that every cm counted. 

You know, I also didn't realize they were strictly related until I mentioned a jam to a friend! Thanks for reading :)

Thank you for reading!

You jammed a ton in this! The font size is too small, though. The limit on font size is about 8pt, any smaller than that and most people can't read it. 10pt is more comfortable. I appreciate that all the rules we need for gauntlet (and quickdraws) are included, and a whole hexcrawl!

Woops! I meant 3, the Bloody Orb.

LOVE the MS paint map. Art overall is a vibe. Good variety of encounters. Great work!

Thank you for the kind words!

This is cool! I honestly had a bit of trouble figuring out what was going on, and I'm still not sure what traveling on the Tomcat entails. But i still dig the concepts and I think this is a worthy submission. You should be proud!

I love this submission. Clean layout, solid maps, and a excellent variety of encounters. Really great work!

This is a killer adventure! Layout is clean, the map and art is lovely and all the themes are well integrated. I do have a slight nitpick, I'm actually unclear what the trap in 2 is. The dungeon has a lovely variety of monsters with motivation, traps, hazards, and treasure. Well done, a truly excellent submission!

This is really good, NPCs have motivations and encounters are varied. The layout is a ton of fun. Excellent work!

Extremely sick, you killed it. Layout, art and design on all the items and monsters is extremely good. Plenty of interesting combats and NPCs.  I would have like to see some traps or hazards, but that's just a nitpick. This adventure is certainly a superstar in any book.

<3

Thank you for taking a look! :)

Clean layout, good variety of encounters, and good use of inspiration! I love it and would absolutely play this. The vibes aren't exactly 8bit, though the art is very nice. Great work on this.

This absolutely rules. Great work.

The map and layout are really good, bravo. The dungeon has secondary entrances, secrets, and factions galore. The NPCs all have motivations. Yum!

This adventure is good, and is runnable with some work. But I have some nitpicks because I think this adventure could be truly great with a few tweaks.

 I would have loved to see all the monsters in the keys. For example, the faction section lists the the turtles but the key doesn't explicitly mention them. The GM needs all the key info in the key to run! Otherwise they might forget to put the turtles anywhere. Some rooms mention the monsters, some don't. Likewise I'd like to see more interactivity and specific detail in some of the rooms. The showroom has some tiles trapped with darts, but which ones? How will the players interact with this to figure out and avoid?  The royal bedroom hides a key but there's no clues to check under the carpet. Maybe a note, NPC dialogue, or even just it looks the carpet was recently moved would add the needed layer of detail for players to really engage. And just from a runability standpoint, some stats or what monsters from Shadowdark to reference would make it easier to run.

But don't get me wrong, this is an excellent submission and for real art. You should be proud. Great work!

I'd run this any day of the week and twice on sunday. Great work! 

<3

The vibes and art are immaculate. The layout is decent but coupled with the content is completely overwhelming on page 4 and 5. After spending some time with it, I digested it. You got a whole ass mini-game for running the dungeon and its really cool! I can tell you thought alot about all the mechanics and how they fit together. Excellent submission, bravo!

Thank you! I grew up reading those manuals as a kid. Definately felt the spirit move through me on this one 😂

Thank you! The small format was a challenge, and definitely forced me to trim everything but the core ideas.

<3

The layout is amazing, the writing is a ton of fun, and the class is definitely playable. And the sample enemies are good. This killed it, such good work! 

Much appreciated :) The format was no joke! But I think it helped keep everything laser focused.

This looks fun! The chase rules and the unarmed combat rules both land well, and the PDF and encounters have strong 8-bit vibes. Overall, I think this is solid work, so what follows are just nitpicks.

It’s a little unclear whether a character can jump-kick, combo, and throw an object all in the same turn. I assume the answer is no, but it might be worth stating explicitly. I also don’t think we ever get stats for the three artifacts, so GMs will have to invent those themselves.

The “directions” the kobolds give are a bit vague as well. If we had explicit hints, clever players might be able to locate the lair earlier than intended. Finally, I don’t think the PDF ever explicitly names its inspirations. River City Ransom for sure, and likely a Mario game as well. But i'm unsure on #3

Great work! You should be proud of this.

Spam submission? 

<3

Great dungeon variety! This is a true-blue dungeoncrawl and i'm here for it. 

Nice entry! You requested some feedback on discord, so here's my thoughts:

Layout:

• Great vibes, retro feeling.
• Body font needs to be readable, it's too black when compared with the headings (font doesn't have hyphens).

Dungeon:

• Nice map, serviceable. 
• Room 6 should probably connect to 3 to finish the loop. In my opinion, backtracking just wastes table time (our most precious commodity).
• Too many rooms are just straight fights with vengeful spirits. What choices do players make in these instances? One room is okay, but variety is the spice of life. The game shines when players have to think and engage with the game.
• Room 8 could use context for what the ghost servants are doing.
• Like the custom monsters, they all have interesting abilities. Great work!

Thanks! The images are large files, so that's probably contributing to the slow loads. I'll look at updating with more compressed images.

I'm impressed how much you got into this with such a clean well-spaced layout. Excellent work! The content is flavourful and I love the exploded map view of the buildings.

This adventure is super creative and fun. You asked for some feedback on discord, so i have a few notes:

Layout:

• I'd use a more readable font as the body. A028 Medium is a cool Albertus riff (love me some John Carpenter) but it makes for a bit harder reading as a body font. In that vein,. spacing is a bit scattershot. Sometimes lines touch, sometimes there's padding between paragraphs. Set up you file so that the spacing you want is there automatically - trying to do it manually is much harder to get consistent.
• I like the use of coloring, but I'd suggest more contrast between the heading color, and the read-aloud text. I might also add a shaded box for read aloud - the bar alongside is cool but is kind of hard for me to parse.
• I'd also turn on the spellchecker in indesign/affinity, or run your text through a word processor first. Many spelling and grammar mistakes distract the reader.
• I'd love to see more structure for tables. They are also hard to separate from region descriptions in their unformatted state. Also, i think weather table doesn't fit after the eelbucket entry. Later on when I want to roll weather, I won't think to look at the eelbucket town entry to find it!

Magic Items:

• I'd try to format the magic items like Shadowdark does. I think you ran out of space, but that just means we needed to rework the layout so the right formatting could get in.
• I'd try to clarify how long the tea box bonus lasts, unless we're imagining characters eat a pastry as soon as they get mind blasted!
• Sandman's item lore and effects don't line up for me. 

Locations:

• Eelbucket: we get NPCs and their related info in the back, but it would have been better to put their info on the same page together. At minimum we should introduce the NPC's first in detail, then reference them shorthand in the adventure.
• Random encounters: Would like to see a few less 'random animal hunting' entries or 'you stuck your foot in a trap'. One such entry on a table is fine, but in general we want random encounters to have something players to interact with. Try to push yourself on these!
• Unclear where we encounter 'the swamp'. it might be every in-between area, but I don't know for sure.
• hunter cabin: in my opinion, every piece of content must either fill the PCs lives with adventure, or breath life into the world. I think we need some kind of hook for what's going on at the hunter's cabin, or a fleshed out NPC to give the world color. 
• Old Chapel: Very cool location. How will players know how to solve the puzzle? I didn't notice any clues leading up to this location. Puzzles are great, but we need the accompanying clues to have a satisfying piece of gameplay.
• The dirty old water spring: what's this creature? Wyrmbat? We should reference that fact in the entry. 

Dungeons:

• Abbey Dungeon: The locations are all kind of samey. 1d6 imps doing a specific thing (which is a nice detail to include), but no encoutner variety. We know one group of imps wants food. The rest are just chilling, presumably to fight the party.
• Castle Dungeon: Random encounters and how it works first, it's confusing to read those last. Also, is there any clues on what the trick is, or how to navigate? This dungeon is a puzzle, which is cool, but we also need some way to detect the solution other than brute force.

The Good:

• Overall well imagined area. You gave it life, and I think it's great. Its just the details and encounter design that need work.
• The map and travel times are super helpful for a point crawl! Love this. Functional and efficient.
• Many of the random encounters are well structured and interactive.
• Some locations are just nice atmospherics. Love that!
• Abbey Dungeon: Good map, and good detail on keyed locations and what's going on at each. Plenty of detail to riff!
• Castle Dungeon: A puzzle dungeon is a lot of fun, and I think this is a great idea.
• Tea box: Super fun character. I'm sure many a party will get attached to their new pet sentient furniture.

Please don't read this as me being overly negative or hating the adventure. I think you vividly imagine the locations, and more formatting, design and spellchecking will make this a superstar adventure.

This is really cool solo content! I'm not sure which covers you were riffing off, but the scenario is interesting.

A classic dungeon crawl, well assembled. Bravo!

Extremely cool. Love that torchlight reveals the truth in this.

Haha well no one's found it on their own, so I wouldn't sweat it. I'll give another clue: using  a phone, you might be able to glean more information from a magic rune on the map, or the ad page. Good luck :)

Thank you for the review! Love that we could go in such different directions with the same starting point. Very fun.  Cutting the cover was a necessity, but I like the look too.

As a fan of nightmare at castle goldgloom, you might enjoy the *secret* hidden in this adventure. Take another look at the ad page, or the map. You may find a road to a familiar face. :) 

Thank you!