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Retro Epiphany

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A member registered Feb 09, 2015 · View creator page →

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Oh damn

That side piece about Lily is the shit!

Becca's left hand in the shower-hand-job-scene with Frank (after 2nd pool scene) seriously needs to be fixed. It look severely unnatural, especially for such a small hand. Becca's looks like a flesh-covered robot hand. Hands are not symterical. 

God, did that evil bitch have Jessica ran over? Was it an accident or was it murder?

(4 edits)

I never expected to find this much of a plot in an H-filled visual novel.

I would have to add that Jestur has more literary skill than what is found in 99% of H-filled visual novel on the net and in most non-h manga.

Too bad Jestur is not working for Netflix or one of the other new networks.

~Spoliers~

So far, most of the plot twists were expected, but then I am also a writer. It's a given that I would recognize the mechanics of writing that are being used.

The fourth wall break regarding the protagonist's predicament was well-placed. Nice way to lampshade your own story.

Great 'third-act' cliff hanger.

At first, it was irking to see the protagonist recognize some of the people from the past, but not all of them, but then you have to consider that the protagonist should never be smarter/more-talented than your average audience member.

Protagonists with an above average intelligence kills the ability for an average audience member to identity with protagonist. Best to work with the shortcomings and insecurities of an average audience member rathar than against them.

I would not have foreshadowed the possible identity of the ninja though. Even if it was used as an intentional misled, leaving that's character's indentity blank would have been better. The greatest weapon against an audience is their own curiousity/guesswork. Keep them guessing by not foreshadowing, intentional misled or feinting a curve ball.

Riley's ulterior motive was a dead giveaway. Any chick that tries to seduce a man who she has just met and asked for help (while acting weak) is most likely feinting weakness, due to an ulterior motive. And given the story's plot her ulterior motive was easy to guess at.

When planning out character designs and plot builds you have to keep in mind, 'what would people really do if X was actually happening'.

Would a teacher really try to seduce a student? Sure it can happen, but with everythinhg that is happening what are the odds that this is ALSO happening? It makes me wonder if she is hiding something? Maybe she is in on it. Maybe she keeps asking the protagonist to leave the past in the past as a deterent to keep him from finding secrets the bad guys at that company don't want him to know.

Also, the blackmail thing is probably tied-in. If not, then that sub-plot should not exist. Too many complications dilute the impact.

Lastly, is this a harem or you aiming for a serious literary piece that just happens to involve lots of sex?

Why is every single women in the world after the Protagonist's dick? It's a giving that the Protagonist has to be seen as desired by the opposite sex, but when every women on earth wants him, plausibility becomes an issue.

It is nice that at least one of the more clique tropes of hentai and early manga was lampshaded, during the landlady/massage scene.

It gives credit to the idea that you are more than a little self aware. As writers it is expecfted (by non-writers) that we should aim to please a large percentage of an audience group, keep in mind that you can't please everyone without turning your story in a bowl of random objects that don't fit together. Too many flavors dilute the impact and kill any merit a story could have.

You have to ask yourself: am I trying to write a story that pleases everyone or am I trying to write a story that fits what I believe a good story should be? Where you choose to draw that line dictates a large amount of a story's shelflife.

A story that tries to please everyone is far less rememberable than a story that tries to please no one.

Most of the unforgetable films and stories ever written did not aim to please the audience. Surprisingly, enough this even includes children's films.

I would only ask that you do not stray from your goals/ideals as a writer, to grab at low hanging fruit.

Hmmm...thanks, will do!

Seems like a legit game!

However...

After escaping the begin area and getting both the helmet and suit/gun...

I am stuck in small room with no way out.

Some kind of power up, two little crawlers, and a weird barrier blocking the power up.

The exit thingy changed to red...

Pretty good game...

Impossible not to beat.

Zero difficulty :(

Lots of farming available :P

Too bad the ploayer sprite wasn't fully animated.

No weapon sprite for the player :/

But, still much better than many of the other games on Itch and gamejolt!

109%

1:7:29

5 lives

Also, missed the stairs behind the stone...

Great game!

Obvious zelda clone...

A difference set of tree sprites and soundFX would have made a big difference in the originalily.

Four stars!!!!

I beat this in one go!

ZQSD???

'G' restarts the game?

Use a controller, indeed.

Please learn to implement standard keyboard buttons. WASD or arrow keys.

Otherwise, great game.

I have been downthe elevator and back again and I have 1160 and still no use for the book :/

I guess I'll be the  first to ask...

If you already have the girl (the prize), then

what is the end game here?

thanx for your feedback, I'll think about that.

I may get the scenes done before I spend the time to do roughly 15 pages of storyboarding.

kind of feedback? 

Just what ur take on it, is.

"Could you make the cutscene as written, if you had to?"

That is the  idea.

https://retro-epiphany.itch.io/pagesofdestiny

I have to agree with markthewolf, though.

It feels like your piloting a dirrigible.

The player's movements need more fricton.

Not a bad prototype. Nice pause/inventory screen. Could use particle systems for better effects and shaders for shadows.

Nice game, but not new idea. Another monster farming sim, however this is a cute execution of it. Money/blood/crystal drop ratio does not match money/blood/crystal buy-requirements ratio. By the time you have enough blood and crystals to better feidns, you are broke in the money category, due to the continual need for zombies. love the sprites. Looking forward to the updates.

awesome!

THIS GAME IS BADASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 STARS!

Awesome game!

Featuring a genuis level design, fluid sprite movement, and an easy to use weapon system.

Not just a run-n-gun.

The player has to make choices and sacrifices.

Which path will you walk first?

If I bypass the 'optional' equipment, how much sooner will I die?

One must have a strategy to stay alive and survive this twsted puzzle platform gauntlet.