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Excellent, really enjoyed it. "There was just one problem" followed by "..., the problem said" is a delightful line. You managed to fit in characterization for both the characters as well as the background elders really well in such a small space and did it with a "show don't tell" approach. This is one of my favorites.

Interesting. The perspective is a bit confusing. You seem to start from the boy's perspective, then switch to She. Might be more clear with something to distinguish the two, a line break or something like that.

Really nice world building with the ingredients for the spell. Felt nice and arcane/occult.

Fun, good characterization, and contrast between the two characters. Some kind of description of the beasts would have been nice, to help illustrate the action.

Fun, good characterization, and contrast between the two characters. Some kind of description of the beasts would have been nice, to help illustrate the action.

Well written, good descriptions that conveyed the struggle Haraka was going through. I thought it a little odd that you mentioned the family when she entered that room, but not again when the guards came in. Could have been a good opportunity to show the guards being cruel/oppressive towards the family as well.

Well written, good descriptions that conveyed the struggle Haraka was going through. I thought it a little odd that you mentioned the family when she entered that room, but not again when the guards came in. Could have been a good opportunity to show the guards being cruel/oppressive towards the family as well.

Yup. I had the idea for the story before the theme was announced. Didn’t have enough time to come up with something different. Tried to fit the theme in, but I guess not very well. Still wanted to try and submit something, glad you enjoyed it.

That’s what is so fun with OPR lore now. It feels like it’s supposed to be open ended. Maybe Elementals have free will, maybe they don’t. Maybe some do and some don’t, depending on the Elves that made them? Cool to try and explore.

I really like how it's still ambiguous if the Elemental has free will or not. 

Thanks! It's intended to be weird and mysterious, though maybe I should think about how to communicate that more clearly.

Honestly, I saw they announced the jam and I had this idea. Then I saw what the theme was. Didn't think I'd have time to come up with another idea, so I tried to fit it in. But mostly I figured it'd be better to submit something than nothing at all. So yeah, it's light on the theme. Thanks for reading though.