The terse style is appropriate in the context of a cyberpunk corpo briefing, but confusing as a GM aid. The order of information presentation contributes to that, as the mechanics and narrative situation feel like they've been chopped up and intermixed almost randomly. The mission idea is worth spending a few more words on to make it more readily playable - it could easily be reformatted to keep the two-page footprint and read more intuitively.
After a couple of reads, I think this would be a really fun short social session - but it did take a couple of reads to work out how I might actually run the thing, and I'm still not exactly sure what the mechanics are. I like the covert, time-limited and strictly non-violent set-up, a transit hub gives all three very naturally. The targets are a diverse and interesting bunch too, with nice roleplay prompts offered.
Great to have a bunch of accessible conflicting job hooks, with a lot of potential warmth and character (or nasty coldness) behind them - I can imagine really fun hiring scenes and negotiations, a nice blend of passion, greed, shame and pragmatism.
The feel of the bar is interesting, as are the characters that populate it - plenty of personality and motivations, feels easy to make it feel alive.
There are a few too many unnecessary details, for my tastes. What's the purpose of listing all the corpses in the water? As far as I could see it was Borg-y clutter. Similarly, the evasive street kids. Make it a guaranteed confrontation (not necessarily combat) as they protect their home and meager belongings - an obstacle and a human interaction.
It would be helpful to have all the overlapping detail marked on all the maps - the tunnel hatch marked in the basement, for example. I was losing track of where layers matched up on my first read.
The climactic hack and escape reads like it would be tense and dramatic, set to close the adventure with a bang.
Visually, everything clearly arranged and in a usable logical order, always helpful. Detail is mostly 'spent' well in the busy and interesting areas of the scenario I'd want the players to be interacting with the most too.
Very neat and cleanly presented. The sidequest is great, almost to the point that, were I playing, I'd want to stay on that questline more than finish the main job. I would have loved to see more concrete details, more of your world, rather than sticking so firmly to a system and setting agnostic construct - if I'm not a fan of adventure specifics I can cut or change details if I want, but this way I'm forced to invent them. Despite that nitpick, a great 'welcome to cyberpunk' job.
Many thanks for the crits. It was supposed to be a bit prose-poem-ish in places, which doesn't lend itself perfectly to pamphlet info delivery. You're right that the cyberpunk aspects are more in in the background than rubbed in your face - I wanted to lean into the hopeful angles with (most of) what the player encounters, leaving the explicit cyberpunk aspects in the implied worldbuilding.
