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A member registered Jul 27, 2020 · View creator page →

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FGJHFGJHJH I'm glad you love the monster designs!! I spent a lot more time than I should've trying to make them creepy and I spent a lot of time thinking about how to scary them up lol. Pinkie is one of my faves lol love that design (and it's def gonna reappear in another work in the future if/when I can shove it in and make it work haha)

I mean,,, the relics are guardian angels in that it gives them powers to fight monsters but the result is... >:3c

Yeah the story is most definitely rushed! I essentially had to speedrun the building of a whole alternate universe with no time to properly pad it out and the pacing definitely reflects that! I had hoped to put more scenes to give readers time to adjust to the changes in this world but, as you've probably noticed, a lot more "tell" than "show" was thrown in here to basically dump worldbuilding info on people for later stuff. I usually like to create complex worlds and slowburn my way into them (something im struggling with fixing in my Hologram project atm!! Especially because there's a lot of things being thrown at once as the inciting incident occurs and i Do Not want people to get overwhelmed haha) but this was a complex world from the get go set-up without any pacing or slowburn to match it OTL

This said!! Glad you enjoy the little ships in here!! Abby/Vidal and Michi/Irise are pairings i had fun teasing in this piece, although it's probably the closest I'll ever get to writing real romance (esp. since i'm only in it for the queerplatonicness not truly the romance itself haha). 

The ending was intentionally meant to end there! Though, if I'd had my way, there might have been an epilogue stating that the common populace now realizes what happens to certain people and are facing a mass panic by those in the afflicted party~

And yeah it definitely seems like NVL in ADV format suffers. I will admit I'm more used to reading stuff like fanfic than reading vns in the typical ADV format so I think that played a factor in how I thought it was comprehensible but sounds like it's confusing instead ;w; I apologize for the headache! It'll definitely read much better when I update to that new format I promise!!!

and feel free to give more crits and feedback if you like!! I know there's a lot of issues with this (I imagine the sprites are one of them and the "tell instead of show" playing a big part in what bogs this down?) and tbh I'd like to hear what I did wrong so I can try my best to fix/evade such errors in the future if possible!!

Thank you so much for the comment though!! I loved reading your thoughts on this and it makes me happy to know you like this and want to see more of my writing in the future ^0^ Hopefully I can get one of my projects out to fruition to make that happen and YES definitely in the NVL style where it'll shine more!

Heya! Glad you enjoyed the world and monsters! “Odd and intriguing” and “gorgeous yet creepy” are high praises to hear as someone who enjoys world building and monster creation! This little project was I wanted to try and at least make a decent world for (and leave a little mystery for in what those relics are/why they exist) so I’m happy to hear I achieved it to some degree <3

as for the word count critique, I’ll definitely keep that in mind! Though, if I may inquire, is the lengthy word count an issue because this is an ADV novel written in a NVL style? I know the two styles aren’t typically meshed together so I’m wondering if that figures into it? I can see how that’s in issue in, say, the dialogue where it’s matched with character actions (I.e. something like [“I’m sorry,” Rean says, grimacing as he rubs at the back of his neck]). Or how maybe the paragraphs themselves feel too big for the space they’re in because that’s definitely an issue I realize hurts the mixing of VN styles OTL

And if not that, by tightening it do you mean  I need to cut down on descriptions in total? I can see where some things might go awry - the second scene and the river scene coming to mind in terms of potential meandering (especially since I had to speed run the introduction of an alternate with none of the proper pacing) - but I’d appreciate knowing in more detail what could be tightened up if don’t mind me asking ^w^

Oh!! It's funny you say the main inspiration is from Madoka Magica because ironically my thought process for inspiration was based more on card game anime while making this (namely, shows like YGO Arc-V and Future Card Buddyfight tied into a magical girl/boy package because I love magical girls and I love card game monsters so I figured, why not get the best of both!). I see where the Madoka Magica vibe comes from though, and in hindsight that wasn't my intention but I get why it feels that way!!

Happy to hear you like the music! I didn't have a lot of time to add it in (nor the experience, tbh) so this makes me :Dc to hear that I did a decent job constructing it together

And yeah I wondered how predictable the twist would be so that answers that~ I usually like to be a lot more subtle about my plot twists but for this project I don't think I tried as hard haha. Nonetheless, you're completely right!! It's all about the journey not the destination indeed ^0^

and oof,, I wondered about that but for whatever reason my game won't allow me to see the font whenever I change it on my end. I thought it would work well in Cairo font and I had someone say it worked fine but on hearing this I might return it to the default Renpy font. Thanks for letting me know (and thanks for the comment too, glad to hear your thoughts on this little project ^0^!!!)


Re: slice of life start up vibes!! That's something ironically a lot of my favorite stuff does: start up with slice of life intro stuff and then BAM horror/fantasy/mystery vibes commence~ So I'm happy to hear I emulated that well here, especially since I wanted to introduce the cast and then slide over into the horror stuff as the slowburn outcome of the mystery pieces itself together. 

Creating the relics and rendering them was perhaps my favorite part of this. Twisting the relics into the monster's designs, even more so (and fun fact: Irise's monster form was invented before her relic was). I wanted to make sure the relics were always omnipresent in the scene considering how, at the end, they're presence is Very Relevant to the mystery haha. I'm also happy to hear you like the sprites too,,, I feel like I could have done much better on them and make them look less wonky to my eyes if given time but ultimately i did learn a lot about them (and mad respect to you and everyone else who does sprites w/ so much variance bc that's like godtier patience in my eyes to have all those combinations made and ready to use).

Michi!!! My boy!!! I'm not going to lie for how little he appeared in this he is ironically one of my more favorite characters in the series he actually comes form. Granted, there's a lot more complexity to him there than I got to show here but yessss him being sweet and plucky is just The Best (plus his design is soooo good I love coloring blonde hair so much and his magenta eyes really add to the appeal: i can't wait to draw him even more in his actual story just bc i love his colors so much). And Abby,,, local protagonist in his original series turned love interest in this piece,,, The scenes w/ him and Vidal are probably the closest I'll ever get to being truly overtly romantic in my works and the clocktower scene was very fun to push myself in that regard (so I'm happy to hear the romance is very welldone despite its subtlety because that's very much what I crave in every romance story I read ngl).

Speaking of worldbuilding: would you believe me if I said I had to speedrun the world-building in like 3 days because I had An Idea pre-jam but when writing I found out I really didn't?? I at least got to shove in some cameos tho,,, especially Sadie even tho she only shows up to further enhance the debate about the mystery of what's happenin'

The summer CG!! That one was so great,,, I am a Big Fan of saturated colors and I really let myself go loose with that one. Wish I could've drawn more like that but alas,,, time ate me up

The mist monsters,,,, they are indeed very spooky and Vidal's one in particular is my favorite (RAINBOW COLORS RAINBOW COLORS). I'm really a "monsters are horrifying especially if they're non-humanoid" type of gal and I had fun trying to create ones that looked creepy (and haha Irise's neck was a spur of the moment design but I think it really works for a horrific, almost unattached-from-one's-own-body look :3c)

Overall just super well done and a great story that really ramped up at the end and left me wanting more. Like I wanna know what's happening now?? What's going to happen to them? What even really ARE they? I have so many questions.

>:3c I really like creating mysteries with no real answerse so it's really up to you what you want to make of the ending and what happens after! I consider Blue Moon Lament's story done as of the ending although shortly after Vidal's...happening...I'd like to think the world now knows what's happening to all the disappearing lamenters and how that causes chaos and horror across the world. It's even better when you get to know people don't get to become lamenters by choice...which also means that that will happen to any lamenter whether they want it or not just because they are lamenters :333333333

(and thank you for the note!! i uploaded new files so hopefully those work now \>o</)



the way you tied this into Our Wonderland brings up so much questions but Our Fantastic Wonderland is canon to Our Wonderland it seems based on the ending scene alone and man that blows my mind i never saw that coming!!

loved seeing the main crew again and out in action,,, i missed them and their witty, snark-filled banter,,, and some of the lines definitely made me laugh out loud (that poking fun at itself for "not being a visual novel" and the little quips about deadlines felt like you personifying your own troubles with making a game in a month)!! I especially liked the line about shounen anime and the programming riddles felt so fitting for Ghent/Ignatius/Gidget/Iggy's characters that I couldn't help but feel like it was a nice personal touch for the riddles to be stuff about coding (and then Orlam and Genzou just being like "oh, well, okay, that happened" was amusing too)

I think the glitching aspect in the midway point was also very curious too,,, like,,, were they really even playing a DND-esque game together at all?? Were they sharing a connected lucid dream?? it really felt as if they were all gathered around playing a game although a few factors beforehand did feel fishy (like how Hunar magically handwaved the sky to red and how they could all see that change at once...I may not know anything about DND but something about how they witnessed that change without Hunar speaking in depth of it and feeling chilled by the transformation really adds to the reveal of them glitching out of existence later in hindight :P). There's also the fact that underneath Iggy's cloak it looks like normal modern attire (a tshirt and shorts i believe??) which only seems to heighten the suspicion that either Iggy was lazy in designing his character's outfit or, more likely, he was transported to a ""lucid dream"" w/ a cleric cloak on to fit the theme lol??

Also!!! The ATL!! I swear you're just a master at using it to it's most efficient point because everything about it works so well in partnering with the narrative!! From the black bar screen "fade ins", to the rabbit guards attacking, to the way you zordered the group so there's a distinct feel of them walking side by side at times, to the little motions that the sprites definitely help capture such as Iggy falling into the arms of his loved one or how Jerry's face zooms into the camera as a kind of small jumpscare (that was really creepy i gotta say!!)).

also rip to the magic potato and Jerry, they never quite fulfilled their purposes did they :') maybe magic potato will somehow come back to give Iggy happiness in arc 5 of Our Wonderland >o<

(also i realized while typing this i haven't followed you on here already and that is a mistake i have finally rectified haha)

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This was a very cute (albeit kind of sad) read and gosh I'd love to see more of this world because it was very intriguing and up my alley. 

The monster creature was so cute though im kind of sad that allowing Fifteen to get close to it makes her and the thing disappear from Casper's life (I was hoping they could all get together and travel together at the end but alas,,, it was not meant to be in the endings ive seen gfhjgf)

The writing was so very good and the voice-acting really fit the characters too. I also like how you made the characters feel down to earth and fitting to their environment while also creating a sense of unease and uncertainty about this world (even to the point I felt unsure about the monster despite wanting it to be a companion because gosh it looks so cute but then it takes off with Fifteen and leaves Casper behind and...>0<)

Good job to everyone who created this i'd love to see more of this world if possible but at the same time I think this contained narrative works just as well :D

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this game has such pretty art im <3 for it

Cheshire probably has my favorite design, but the other girls are very cute too (im always a sucker for white-haired purple-eyed characters too, as the White Queen is making me realize~)

The writing for this was very fun to follow and very well crafted. There's a lot of intrigue as to what's going on and I like how the story we know of Alice in Wonderland seems to intertwine into this variation.

Also love how the VN uses camera shake (I think? Can't seem remember what it's called in renpy gjgjhgffgjg) to engage the reader in the story. During the (Spoilers) scene where Cheshire attacks the player and gets her arm ripped off, both the epic music and the screen shaking really makes me feel like im taking the protagonist's place for a hot second lol

Regardless! This was a cool visual novel to read/playthrough so thanks to you all who made this for creating a fun game!!

I already left a comment on Twitter but I just finished up the other two routes and ahhHHHH

My curiosity piqued when you showed off the demon companion and even more so with the summary and I'm glad I played this! I got attached to Haze real quickly but honestly, their design is so cool to look at I love all the little details you carved into their sprite (as well as that one epic CG with the wings omg!!).

I also love the whimsical, almost somberly forlorn tone that goes on in this piece. The demon is very frank in their thoughts but also attuned to Willow in a way that feels lowkey really sweet. I was also surprised to see the demon has a more human-esque looking form but somehow that also feels appropriate considering that, despite the initial look of the sprite, they are very human?? In a way??

It was also neat how you handled Willow's character. Willow felt very real and fleshed out, even if her time with the player is brief (or, well, it felt too brief to me ;w;) and I like how her chats with the demon are almost philosophical in nature (especially in ending 3 which was a nice touch since it felt like it drove home the melancholy air of hope that was building). 

Anyways, that said, this was really neat! I can tell you put a lot of effort into making this game and I think that definitely shines through with how teary I got at the end of ending 3 fghjgfhjfg

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Really adoring this game so far! I'm roughly 2 hours into it I'd guess and so far it's been a blast figuring things out. One thing that is annoying though (or maybe I just don't know the button to get out of it?) but I've stuck at the "Your character got a level-up!" screen twice now and unable to get out of the window (and I don't see any X I can just click to get out of it). 

edit: oh wait nvm im an idiot and didn't realize i was supposed to choose from the choices that aren't the top 2. I thought since they were blacked out I couldn't choose them but now i see ;w;

Like The Gamer Brewery said, I would love to see the ability to have summons that you can add (and maybe even place if possible) to the grid. The grid system would definitely be a lot fun to use with actor summons (not to mention that would add more flexibility and fun in creating a battle system!) especially since to my knowledge in-battle summons doesn't seem to be an actual feature in RPGMaker's normal battle system.

Also do like the idea of having the "back" actor being unable to be targeted until the actor in "front" is cleared first. I know you already mentioned something along the lines of this up above but it would be cool to have it so that if the two columns are like this:

G1 G2
G3 G4
G5 G6
G7 G8

Then if an actor is put in row G1 the actor in G2 can't be targeted until the G1 actor is killed. But if G3 has no actor then the enemy can straight away attack G4's actor. So, basically, if there is no other actor in the "front" column of the grid then the "back" column that is horizontally aligned with that column is targetable. If there's an actor in the "front" column, however, than the the "back" column is targetable. 

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I just finished the demo after watching a certain YT video and dfjhgfhjf as soon as this game comes out I definitely intend to buy it when it does! I can tell you've put so much time and thought into just the demo alone and honestly as an aspiring indiedev myself all I can say is I'm impressed by how much is in this small (i'm guessing very small, for that matter?) portion of the plot (not to mention how much eventing and scripting you must've done for just this section of the game alone!)

I'd have to say my two favorite parts (past Archie who is just naturally great and I love his dialogue about plants with Lily - kind of hope that becomes a running gag between them ngl because that scene built up perfect relationship chemistry between those two as well as w/ poor Perry) would be the jewelry shop and the scene with Daphne you get to see as Archie. 

I wandered into the jewelry shop out of mere curiosity, quickly realizing that the guy could move between shop counters. When the guy complained about me not making up my mind and wheezing to the ground, exhausted, I couldn't help but snicker and be in complete awe of that scene. It's such a small detail, almost insignificant because you're not required to visit the shop during the demo whatsoever, but it honestly brings your game to life in a way that tells players you're rewarding them for their curiosity.

I also loved Archie's intrusion into the scene with Daphne scolding the train crewmembers. Being able to watch that optional cutscene that I stumbled upon by mere happenstance while exploring such a small town was truly a treat in of itself. It's made even better by the small details like the guard going back to constantly fix the suit of armor, trying again and again to fix it only to just meekly give up and hightail it out of there. 

I also found that Archie's comment on getting out of there a nice touch: especially since I realized later that his behavior up until meeting Lily (such as hiding behind the train as Daphne escorts the crew members away) made sense, especially because he thought he would get in trouble and was trying to avoid that. It also made me wonder though: does Archie have some intrinsic fear of authority figures and/or being punished for acting too out of line? Much of his behavior suggested he was avoiding directly confronting any authorities because he didn't want to get in trouble, and I'm not sure if that's because he didn't want his message delivery to be interrupted or because of some maybe past trauma (such as having the authority figures in his homeland threatening him constantly for speaking out of line which results in an unease to be found by authorities and accused of making trouble). I can see him going both ways but I suppose I'll have to wait before I can learn more about him to see if I'm right or wrong about what I noticed about him

Lily and Perry were also good, their comedic timing is well paced, though they felt a bit generic for characters compared to Archie. Lily in particular fell a little on the generic side, mostly because girls who love art kind of feels like an expected stereotype in stories (and this is coming from someone who actually is that stereotype irl so pot meet kettle lol). It's not bad in any way as long as she's given other unique traits to make her stand out (like comparing art tools, perhaps, or getting in a heated debate with Archie over the identification of various flora). However, her love of plants and her distraction by them in comparison to more important events does make her pop out more. It was really refreshing to have a character be so into plants to the point of distraction, even being exasperated at Perry for not knowing what type of plants they were (which correlates with his mentality to have the plants be a stepping stone to show he's responsible: he doesn't care what kind of plants they are, only that they show his dad he's worthy). You had a really good dynamic there as I mentioned before and I would love to see more scenes like that, with Lily and Archie getting distracted and Perry hauling them along as some sort of running gag (kind of like what you've already shown to be doing in the comic you gave glimpses of).

Also in regards to Perry: his options to ~bully~ Flint were really satisfying as a player to pick and I loved his opening scene (as well as his "for the love of- WE'RE CLOSED" shtick that happens constantly throughout the story (the poor customer at the end though...I laughed at that so hard lmao). He feels a little bit on the typical hero side, but with that said there is something endearing about him that makes me feel at ease even with that knowledge. His comedic timing really sold him and I can only imagine him being at odds with the jargon Archie and Lily might use on discussions about plants or even leaving them behind if they're too absorbed in their own little worlds.

My only nitpicks I would provide, aside from that a quick skim through the comments below has suggested, is maybe increase the timer on the train. For me, even though I'd watched the YT review of this game, it took me quite some amount of time to talk to everyone in the train AND figure out who to talk to to trigger the cutscene to get past the Sentinel guarding the front of the train. By the time I'd found the sick guy my timer was 0:03 which, supposing a Bad End is implemented if one goes over the time limit, might be frustrating to players if they have to redo going the whole entire first scene again (especially if they didn't think there was a point to saving because obviously the puzzle is supposed to be doable in five minutes).

Also, speaking of save files, I'm not sure if this is just an occurrence on Mac computers or if this is just a built in feature of the demo (especially considering how relatively short it is), but I was unable to save during the length of my play session. However, I only tried saving once (iirc in the town playing as Archie) so it could be that I was only preventing from saving in that location but could've saved elsewhere.

Other than those flaws (and the ones I've seen other people already mention which it sounds like you have fixed already :Dc) this was a really amazing game! For such a short session, I found myself connecting a lot of dots to potential plot points (and what might happen after the demo's ending) but that doesn't at all stop me from wanting to buy this when it's done! From what it sounds like, this is going to be a lengthy game (especially if there are...7? 8? realms to go through and we've only ever seen a town in one of them) and I'm definitely eagerly going to be awaiting the day this arrives in full to play!!