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Obesogen

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A member registered Sep 24, 2017 · View creator page →

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This is a bit of an early review, but I feel like I need to express what I have experienced so far. I actually have quite a bit of criticism for this game. It is not uncommon for me to be the only one complaining about a game/story, but I knew I would have to do it when I saw all of the glowing responses that seemed too good to be true...

The writing is actually the most conflicting part of this game for me. While the amount of work done on this game is incredible (most major visual novels of comparable size are using multiple (ghost) writers and yet this is a solo-project that is more ambitious than famous visual novels from Japan that cost $40 or more), the writing is inconsistent in many ways. First of all, after meeting the first five characters, it feels like too many characters are going to be girls and all of them are basically idiots. The main character sounds pretty normal, but the dialogue from the girls so far is way too off from the setting. Everyone is talking like they are casually chatting on the Internet and there are even lines that approach meme humor. And everyone is way too sarcastic as if they are not actually experiencing half of the things that are happening. Metatron is an exception to the rule, but it feels like you are just restraining your tendency to write characters that way by writing as little dialogue as possible for her. You also claim that she thinks really fast, but nothing she said so far displayed rapid thought beyond human levels and she is in some ways slow to be reasonable. 

The descriptions on the other hand, tend to be very serious and like a literary classic, but they also can do a pretty poor job at explaining things and the background image of the area can feel detached from all of the descriptions. It can be really hard to tell how the scene is flowing and sometimes words are dropped to the extent that it feels like thoughts were forgotten. And character motivations and personalities can seem so inconsistent. There is this one scene that sticks out in my mind where Ashley walks backward in fear or something (the description was not clear) and then Sarah randomly said something like "How incorrigible!" when Sarah had been talking like everyone else up until that point. There also is the fact that the first thing we learn about the main character is how they wanted to save the world even if there was no apparent threat... Yet, everyone including the main character treats it as a joke and a childish thing that should be forgotten even though the adventure has clearly become real at the beginning of the story. And the description of characters' thoughts and reactions can be so anime, as in people reacting in ways they should not just because certain anime-esque situations come up that are always presented the same way in an anime. Basically, the characters seem like they are held back because of constant playful aggression, sarcasm and "obligatory" actions. Oh yeah, and the main character talks to his best friend with male terms, which seems like such a modern and unnecessary way to express a friendship. And why does Sam feel so much remorse over her actions when she was so careless in a completely important and special situation as if none of it mattered? It came across as completely fake to me. Lastly, I am almost certain that Metatron gets compared to an alien, but why would any of these characters come from a culture where they think about aliens? Some of the descriptions gave me the impression that beings already are capable of interplanetary travel, as well...

One last oddity I noticed is that sentence structure is quite wild. There are some crazy run-on sentences, some which switch perspective or subject in a way that clearly should be a new sentence. And then other sentences were really short.

I am probably nitpicking way too much, but I just wanted to get these things off my mind and maybe hear some background as to why these things may have been written. On another note, I have a pretty strong vocabulary, but this story has brought up like 15 words that I did not know or was unsure about, so far. I feel like the intense vocabulary (mainly in descriptions) is what is impressing so many people. I guess, there are also quite a few descriptions that are beyond my ability to write or imagine that employ that vocabulary.

Edit: Oh, one last thing. I do not understand why everyone "rips in half with a glare". This is the most consistent phrase  in the writing and is really bad hyperbole and feels like only one character should be doing it. And the main character is kind of grating with how they use a swear word in a bunch of sentences that should be more calm.

I do not know much about working with other people. I guess I might be able to use your help, but not sure if I want to have my email in a public place.

Interesting... I wonder if the problems could be with my computer then.

Interesting introduction. I mostly deal with pixel art and MIDI music. Not really sure how to work with people. I could have missed your message since you did not make any direct reply.  I am really shy when it comes to explaining my game projects. I am not sure if they sound okay "on paper" to most people. They are very groundbreaking topics dealing directly with politics unlike most games. I think most of what I could need help with is pixel art. Not sure if you could help. I am thinking about 3D models in the far future, but I wanted to try building based on the original Playstation if that is possible.

Poke'mon is the most popular ever and does not really lose popularity for whatever reason. I started playing RPGs with first generation of Poke'mon.

I am Valerie. I go by many names online. I have been trying to make a commercial RPG Maker 2003 game for 7 years but sadly a lot of problems got in my way. I also might make some stories in Twine, or some other form of interactive fiction. I even thought of using RPG Maker 2003 as a visual novel tool (but I was mistaken because I thought there was a way to write long passages of text in it rather than the typical textbox). Maybe I still will do that... Really annoyed that almost everything associated with RPG Maker 2003 since Yume Nikki has been horror. Also, there is no Discord server for RPG Maker 2003, which is a big shame considering it has so much history. It is hard to uncover a lot of the information surrounding the engine and despite not experiencing that history, I want to bring it back in some way. My favorite games are classic Japanese RPGs and have been since I was very young, although I also loved Real Time Strategy games (which I would love to make some day), Interactive Fiction and Turn-based Strategy (I love Fire Emblem Geneaology's design ideas and I think Thracia 776 was almost the perfect Fire Emblem, and I think Advance Wars looks really interesting as a multiplayer game and Days of Ruin looks like the coolest game in the series. I am waiting for Re:Boot Camp as my entry to the series.

Anyway, I would love to get in contact with someone who has lots to say about these topics. Sadly, I doubt they exist on this site.

Bleu cheese is the best, but I tend to like various different cheeses, pepperoni, sometimes tomato for more freshness, jalapeno, bacon and barbeque chicken. I also would probably like sardines and anchovies above most of those. Eggplant could be good too. (Did you know eggplant literally contains serotonin?)

That is a lot of people.

Yeah, this is definitely a poorly laid out game. First I got stuck because I re-entered that place with the elevator, which triggers the same scene as when you first enter it, and just freezes on the second screen for some reason.  And that was in the part where I was just randomly sent to my room without explanation, but could leave, but they would not let me got to Symphaesia for whatever reason, so it seems like you really should have locked the player out from leaving the room in the first place. Especially since I had to look up a video on how to progress the story because the phone is almost invisible in that room. Lastly, we have the GOBOT, or whatever, area where you have all of the rooms to enter. I went into one of the rooms, but after clearing an event in it (I think it was the worker informational video), I leave the room only to be locked in place. So there are a lot of reasons to make me stop playing due to mapping issues.

It has been probably 4 years since I learned about this game. It felt like forever. I hope I can play it.

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It looks a lot like Earth. It almost looks like Europe and Russia were put at a 90 degree angle into the Antarctic.

Very inspiring story, but when is the missing days DLC?

Almost as good as Another Metroid 2 Remake, Armored Core: Another Age, Another, Another Code: Futatsu no Kioku and Another Eden... I wish MV wasn't so laggy though.

So like five years ago?

The game isn't bad, but MV makes it nearly unplayable, at least for weaker computers. MV has serious lag issues which don't really exist in earlier RPG Maker engines. It is better to not make a reflex-based game in MV. The eye closing ability makes it manageable most of the time, but it makes it impossible to do anything carefully in a room with invulnerable enemies because you can easily take two steps or more instead of one and sometimes the game just stops for a few seconds, usually at tense moments.

The menu seems really dysfunctional... If I try to save the game I get an error.

I thought it was shallow, poorly presented, easily expected and not scary. I don't get how people like this. The only good thing is Monika at the end. The game really is agonizingly slow too. I have played long visual novels and never felt like skipping so much before. Going over the same scenes again with only minor differences and non-creepy text in a scary font was really bad. The glitch stuff was also boring since it really added nothing except the fact that things were falling apart.

Ah, I realized that I haven't really explained the plot at all yet.... Basically, they go to a castle which serves to be like a boot camp where they learn how  to become magical girls. Even while they are learning, they need to fight the enemy monster forces as well as other forces in the domain of magic that have made magical girls their enemies. The game will mostly involve the castle residents who fight to make the world better, the monster enemies whose defeat will cleanse the Earth of excess evil and the rival magical girl camp which is filled with evil and belligerent people who don't deserve to be magical girls.

I have finished all of the ally character designs, which means that I will focus on the major enemies and special characters next.

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Hi. I am Pseudowako. My project is a completely original RPG Maker 2003 game called Magical Girl Castle. It has a lot of magical girl friendship and some romance, but it also has combat. The relevant scenes are used in a way like social links in the Persona franchise, but you can choose when to pick someone as a romantic partner and picking multiple partners is possible.

The current work is on a demo so you maybe won't get to see a lot of the potential friend and romance options, but I will keep it as a priority considering this is a Yuri Jam entry. As for gameplay content, I plan on only showing one level, but two is possible if I can somehow manage working that fast.

My current progress estimates are:

Character Design: 25%

Monster Design: 10%

Character interactions: 1%

Plot Design: 15%

Scripting/Coding and Mapping: 3%

Environmental Art: 20%

Skill Design: 5%

Weapon Design: 10%

Music: 40% (I have made a lot of music, not caring too much about quality, but I probably will make a lot of higher quality new songs in the future anyway.)

User Interface Design: 0% (An aesthetic change that will not likely be applied to the demo.)

Perhaps you noticed that I have more art done than actual content... Well, I have been working on art almost the entire time of development so far. The art isn't particularly good, but it is a steep learning curve to design all of the different aspects. Much of the hard work has gone into tileset and animated sprite art. I am not too concerned about still pictures though. Skill animations will probably become the next big hurdle since RPG Maker 2003 doesn't even allow you to reverse graphics in animations so it may be a lot of switching between programs.

These three are Valerie (the protagonist), Lenora (her sister) and Rudy (one of the three partners you can start out with).

This project is quite difficult as a first project, but I am feeling very productive so I think I can get the demo done in time for Yuri Jam 2017. Thank you in advance if you are excited for my project.