Good advice, wish I'd thought of that!
gastrop0d
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Thank you! The Xilef encounter was very rushed at the end of the jam. I intended it to be like Mirror Image in that once you hit one, its obvious who Xilef is and subsequent attacks for that round can be targetted reliably.
The Cyclops key can be burgled off him with some care, though I should have been specific about how that particular challenge should be resolved in order to make it something to scratch one's chin over. I wanted to make sure thieves had a lot of good moments, and this was intended to be one of them. As for telegraphing the medusa, no he just likes turning into a boulder, which I'm realising is confusing that they're unrelated. I also think there should be dedicated telegraphing of the medusa in Laconia via the classic "extremely lifelike statues" amidst all the ruins.
In general I think I cut too much explanation to fit into the time and space restrictions, which leads to these ambiguities.
I appreciate your thoughts!
Some cool stuff here! I like the heavy faction elements and the megatroid PCs, though I think there's more that could have been explored with incorporating Mario elements - a pipe network seems like a natural fit.
The biggest area of improvement I see is the adventure leaves too much work up to the GM to round it out and prepare it to run. For instance: "Each tunnel should advertise its owners with three obvious clues and one subtle clue" - these don't appear to be in the entrance location keys; treasure needs to be rolled on tables; "draw a more detailed map" for the Dead God's altar; etc.
Perhaps a lot of this was due to the jam's time and space restrictions. I think if you could flesh out the keys with more detail it would improve things a lot.
Nice and weird. I like that the tower can appear in any existing campaign that might be happening. I like the animalistic powers the players can get, though I think its a slight missed opportunity to (somewhat horrifically) transmogrify the players as part of the process.
I like the twist of the wizard being dead, but it feels a little anti-climactic to reach the top and not have some kind of showdown happen. The escaped monstrosity would be a natural choice.
I do wish there was a bit more going on on each of the levels rather than a single encounter, but its understandable given the jam's space limitations. I think expanding out the dungeon after the jam would greatly improve it.
Love this! Would run it.
The time-abyss gut-drop feeling of going into the future instead of the past is a great hook. The villain being a former ally corrupted over time is also really great. The themed dungeons are good, though the water dungeon not having a single boss like the others felt a little underwhelming.
It would have been good to have a bit of information gathering possible so the players can strategise on which order to tackle the areas. The rumours feel a little weak. I think there should be more of them and have more useful information about the challenges the players are going to need to overcome to succeed. Without good information all destinations feel like the same choice. Hearing additional rumours from the wandering NPCs would make running into them even better, I think.
But the main point of improvement I see is the way the dungeons are keyed. The big blocks of tiny text are just very hard to parse easily. I'm sure if you reformatted once free of the jam's restrictions you would overcome this, though.
The only other thing I would love to see is just... more! Fleshing out the wasteland a little more with some meaningful navigational choices (do we go through the rust pits or the sandstorm?) for the players would be a good addition, imo.
Love this! I would run it.
You've done a great job of capturing the joy of being a bunch of disgusting toads with their own zany perspective on things. Making it a gauntlet is an inspired choice.
The choice of technologically advanced elves who are imposing on nature does clash with their archetypal trappings, which was a little jarring at first. But really playing up their snootiness helps to overcome this. Who doesn't like putting snootiness in its place? I would have liked to have seen Li'ink take a bigger role, maybe taunting the battlewugs over an intercom (classic Battletoads vibes right there) to maximise his aura farming.
But the main point of improvement I can see is the map. It's functional, but doesn't do very much to help the GM understand what each room is about and how to run it. If you could punch it up to be more illustrated with the rooms features that would be mint. Bonus points for making it look like something a battlewug would draw!
Excellent layout and presentation!
The navigation mechanic is neat, though it might be a bit repetitive if its always just 1 character in the party making the check. It would be cool to have the party collaborate more.
I think the core structure of the adventure is a little grindy. There's not a lot of decisions for the players to make other than pick a hex, go there and search, hope to roll well on result to get some signs.
The biggest thing hurting it is the random result roll after searching a hex. I think signs could have been incorporated into more of the hex locations (similar to the orc camp, which I think is great). Or at least have something in each hex that can improve the result roll. This gives the players more direction when within a hex, at the moment they feel a little aimless.
A stronger time pressure in the adventure would be cool too. For instance, incorporate the orc faction hunting for Dr. Oiram more thoroughly.
Thank you! I try to be as sci-fi with my fantasy as possible, wringing out as much concept from a magic ability as I can. This also helps with following the design principle of, "Can I reuse something already here instead of adding something new?"
Really glad to hear you like the map style! What I really wanted to do was a hand-drawn isometric cutaway with exaggerated feature details, but there simply wasn't enough time with my schedule, so I fell back to a digital map in a simplified style. It was an experiment for me, but I agree it evokes early 2000s Dungeon magazine and the like. I think it is a good combination of illustrative detail and readability.
I would have found the covers you were assigned hard to work with. You did great job in turning those into an intriguing and thematic adventure!
Nocturne is a deliciously manipulative villain, and the various moonlight gimmicks make for a good puzzle for players to understand and master.
Overall a great adventure! I would run this.
Love the flooding mechanic and the basilisk rampage finale.
However, I think the Explorer's Prepared mechanic is game-breaking. Being able to summon effectively infinite torches, rope and oil is far too powerful. Maybe a per-day use could balance it, with an entry on the traits table to increase the number of uses per day (rather than being able to add non-basic items, since I worry players would choose Potion of Healing).
I think you did a really good job of incorporating your prompts. Good job on focusing on the needs of the ghost, and setting up the house a series of clues for how to put it to rest. I do worry that some parties still won't put it together, but that's what the magic longbow is for, right?
One point of feedback: the usability of your adventure suffers from the overly-cramped lines for the room keys. This is the material the GM needs to be able to parse effortlessly at the table, which means space for the eye to scan and find information. Next time I recommend you prioritise sufficient line height, bolding of key information and splitting information into player-given and gm-known for your key.
Tip-top layout. Great villain. I love the mysterious levers and the dungeon state resetting with the torches. That's sure to pull the rug out from the party!
I like that the encounter table isn't just bone-dry combat encounters, but I think they don't allow for many meaningful choices for the party, or changes to their plans.
Overall a great little dungeon, well done.
Thank you so much. Battling with the page count was a great exercise in brevity. I felt like I was trying to close the zipper on an over-packed suitcase.
I haven't encountered The Adventure Zone vs Dracula, but I am obsessed with Dracula, so maybe I should check it out!
I'm very interested to know which details you think would have been helpful for the factions.
Yes! I'm a big fan of escape out of prison failure states for players, and bending bars feels very pulpy.
I felt it was important to include a prison in this adventure because of the fairies' poison ability. Potentially fighting multiple fairies, each of their attacks having a chance to put players to sleep for hours meant the game could just end with the entire party being put to sleep.


