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(+1)

Loves the 80s "kids on bikes" energy of this! Great intro to get the players all in the right mindset, lots of fun references to the NES games.

I think a little bit more structure and some extra detail to the area keys could really help punch this adventure up. For instance, when investigating the prison cell in the barracks, the adventure just says "after investigation the players learn...". This really leaves a bunch of work for the GM to actually come up with the details there. You have the elements (the glyphs, the letter,) but it would be great to tighten that up in a clear set of points for the GM to have at their fingertips. Separating the descriptions out into chunks is a really good practice that I think you could employ here. Start with what would be immediately obvious details to the PCs, then have extra detail for the GM that comes from further PC investigation.

I'm not a huge fan of the Paladins-ex-machina fallback to save the PCs if things are going sideways. Much better to have good resources the PCs can find and use to save themselves with smart play, imo.

Overall, very strong intro, cool concept, just needs a bit of tightening up in the area keys to really make it sing. Good job!

Thank you for the excellent constructive criticism! Very refreshing. One question. I don’t know what you’re referring to when you say “paladins-ex-machina.” Could you give me a specific example?

(+1)

Yes, sorry I was playing on "deus-ex-machina". I'm referring to the GM notes where "armored paladins emerge, smiting everything in their path!"

Oh I see! I got the reference but couldn’t figure out what part of the supplement you were referring to. Thank you for the clarification.