itch.io

This was a lovely start, and it set a good foundation for the story ahead. I'm intrigued to learn more about this world and its characters, which is an impressive accomplishment with how short this demo is.

There was some awkward phrasing and grammar, but it's all pretty surface level. I encourage you to team up with a proofreader and keep working on this game going forward.

Also, a tip from a fellow dev: I notice you've got your web build in the downloads section. If you want it to embed at the top of the page (which you probably do. People are way more likely to try out a web build than they are to download), you need to select HTML from the "Kind of project" dropdown, then move your web build to the top of your Uploads list and select the "This file will be played in the browser" checkbox.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

I wanted to give your game a go, but unfortunately it seems your web build is broken. I can get through the introductory text, but once I reach the desk with the log book and cards, nothing is clickable and there's no text to advance.

We built the game in Ren'Py, which I believe has automatic gamepad support. So yes, you should be able to play it that way.

As for Steam, we have no plans to publish there right now.

This was enthralling. I can't say I personally relate to any of these characters―my life took a very different path―but I still felt all of them. The writing was perfectly paced, and the overall sedate tone gave room for the hard hitting topics to feel real without getting overbearing.

The art was gorgeous in its simplicity and vagueness. I need to stop using the word "feel", but it really did let me feel these scenes rather than just see them. The use of monochrome only enhanced that.

The ending was sweet, if a little unexpected. But hey, you can't explain a cat.

This was a fun read! The twist was very clever, and the story left me curious but not unsatisfied. Great job, you two!

That's what I thought, but when I encountered a crash I figured it couldn't hurt to take half an hour to comb through for anything else that was a little hinky.

1. I hadn't considered the mobile end of things, but that makes sense. Glad to hear the second part.
2. "One pronoun set with custom pronouns and a choice of terms" might work? Although that's making an already long option even longer. Alternatively, in the terms menu you could have four buttons: Neutral, Feminine, Masculine, and Custom, where the Custom button brings up the custom terms screen. This branch already makes use of a screen, so I don't really see the point in avoiding it in the back half.
3. That also makes sense, and I'm also glad to hear that second part too.

I'm sure it will! I cobbled together my own solution for a (probably scrapped) WIP some time ago, but it was really clunky. This ties up everything I was trying to do in a nice, neat, cohesive package. Thank you for making it available!

Playing around with the web demo I've found three issues.

1. Clicking on an already focused input field unfocuses it. Since focused&unfocused are both red, and focused:hover&unfocused:hover are both orange, there is no visual indication of this. Typing at this point is likely to trigger a hotkey, causing unexpected behavior. (h is particularly distressing, as it shows a black screen.)
2. When choosing "One pronoun set with custom pronouns and terms" I receive the prompt for entering custom pronouns, but terms are limited to a choice of three sets. I would expect this option to allow custom inputs for terms as well.
3. Inputs need better sanitization. I found three reliable ways to crash the demo with my (admittedly weird) gender terms. For context, I am a man and a [girl]. The square brackets are important enough to me that I wanted to try them out, but uhhh. Yeah, that caused issues.
   
   1. In Advanced term selection: just typing the first [ will cause a crash, even if preceded by a \.
   2. In Custom pronouns: after inputting [she]/[her] pronouns, it crashed after hitting confirm. Again, even if preceded by a \.
   3. In Update custom pronouns: Again, just typing [ will crash it.

Admittedly, as a system (one/several minds in one body) I/we have have a leg up on the whole Getting It thing. ^^ And you should! do it do it do it!

A wonderful little exploration of how one/several minds in several bodies might express themself/ves. I'm particularly intrigued by the idea of multiple tiers of splitting. I'd love to see where you take the concept in the future. Especially where it comes to how much communication/information each individual has with/on their (for lack of better terms) parent and sibling selves.

Your page is password protected. :(

Hilarious. Genuinely laughed out loud at the end.

You've got an error when you press "Read Me" on the menu. Best guess, you need to remove the spaces around the = in your {a} tags.

This was lovely, and very much sells hopelessness in an oxymoronically comforting kind of way. I'll definitely be checking out your other works in this universe later.

I loved this. Trickster Coyote put a grin on my face the moment he showed up that didn't go away once as I went through every path. I need more of his adventures yesterday. 

Cute concept! Good work on what I assume is your first VN, since I can't find anything else on your profile. I would love to see you finish that second ending.

If I may suggest a change, I'd like to see characters stay on screen the entire time they're in a scene instead of appearing and disappearing when they start/stop speaking.

I have a variation on this question. I like to give my players a choice of pronouns. They/she/he at a minimum. Would this mean that every time throughout the story I used a pronoun for the player character I'd have to count it as three words? If so, would that apply to conjugation too (she is, they are; he sits, they sit)?

Checking your other comments it seems you've had this issue with another a Ren'Py game with a web build as well. I suspect you're facing this issue because Ren'Py's web build feature is still currently in beta and kinda buggy. I recommend checking to see if your browser is up to date, or simply try playing the downloaded version of the game instead.

Hope this helps! :)

This was very silly. Made me giggle. I wish there were some explanation about how to defend myself from getting taxed, though. As far as I could tell the VPNs didn't do much of anything, and with no audio lure type mechanic it feels like once the taxman gets into the house I'm at the mercy of his random(?) pathfinding.

11/10, would tax evade again.

This was really charming. Well done, and congrats!

I liked this. I'm always a sucker for retellings of classic tales.

You asked for constructive criticism, so here you go (I guess this technically needs a spoiler warning):

- I'm not sure if this is intentional or not, but you can enter the hills without talking to the children first. Which seems a little bit off because then you don't make a deal with them like you would if you select the play option.

- You can have the same conversation with the woman and her husband twice if you follow the path >chat>play or look>look or play>chat

-This applies to playing for the town first and last, too

-You have to look around town twice if you start with that and do the other two as well.

I recommend double checking your if statements in your menus.

Simply delightful! I hope your mom loved it.