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Thank you for leaving such a detailed review!

One thing I'd like to clear up though is the narrator. I sort of left it as something for the reader to piece together but it was actually the fox the entire time! The whole time they were travelling he was using magic to watch them and commenting his thoughts on their journey. Every line of narration in the VN is meant to come from the fox's perspective as an observer. I even made sure to vary the fox's style of speech so that it reads differently compared to the dialogue of the wolves (for example, the fox never abbreviates any of his words while the wolves do).

Also the wolf sprite is only for the father, the son is just left spriteless since I couldn't make his in time for the jam deadline.

I do agree the sprite itself needs some more work and if I knew I would only be able to make one sprite in time then I would've chosen to make a more neutral expression. I don't think I would quite go as far as to say the style is "too amateurish and unpolished" to be used for the project though. But I suppose that could be more of a perspective thing, since I usually spend time around other independent creators who definitely struggle with art way more than I do lol.

Part of me is wondering if it might be a side effect of digital art being basically new to me (I pretty much only draw on paper). Maybe the style I have on paper doesn't translate to digital as well as I thought it did? Since the sprite doesn't really seem THAT horrible to me. But I suppose that's something I'll have to keep in mind for the future.

Thank you for reading regardless.

This was an incredibly cute, simple story.

The first thing I'll say, which is likely the obvious thing most people will say, is that the art is unbelievably good. It's really cute and distinct, easily deserving of the high praise I'm sure you'll receive.


Spoiler warning ahead for anyone reading this comment that hasn't read the VN yet (although I guess you probably shouldn't even be reading the comments at all if you're worried about that lol)


Ultimately this is a story about living up to past legacy. With what I can only describe as a "red riding hood flair".

I think the overall message of how it's better to create things your own way instead of trying to copy someone from the past is a good message, although it's definitely a pretty common one.

There were a lot of nice, cute scenes. There was a fair amount of typos and the grammar felt off at times, but I never let it bother me since I understand that English isn't the main language of this VN.

The story wasn't bad, but I feel like the beginning didn't really hook me much outside of having a really cute wolf. I went back to re-read act 1 to see if I could understand why, and I think it takes a little too long for the stakes to be established. Going back from the ending, I now know that the opening scene is the remnants of the grandmother's legacy, which he even stole from his mother, being completely destroyed to give birth to the wolf. An act which... Doesn't seem to have any impact on him at all afterwards. I understand you wanted it to be a reveal for later, but without the context the stakes of act 1 amount to "He has vague internal struggles about creation that we'll find out about later". Which is completely fine stakes when you're already hooked on a story, but isn't that effective as the hook itself.

I mean, the absolutely adorable wolf would probably be enough of a hook for most. But yeah, narratively the hook isn't quite there.

(Sorry, I've used the word "hook" way too much lol)

But yeah, overall I enjoyed reading it greatly. Thank you both for creating this. I wish the best for both of you.