itch.io

No worries! You stick up for your work!

Now knowing that the perspective of the narrator was supposed to be consistent the whole time, I can see what you were kinda going for, at least in terms of wanting the fox to appear all powerful and all knowing. It does get confusing, because it does start a little bit disembodied voice to start until the fox is introduced. Perhaps cluing in the reader that the fox had been watching this happen the whole time would better portray that. Even a quick line of "I've watched you this whole time as you scaled the mountain," would add a lot of clarity. Though it does also add in a funny wrinkle, that the fox was fully aware that the villagers were coming up to give him his flower offering, and saw that the wolves killed him, which makes the fox a very vengeful god indeed. Talk about "oh you killed those villagers who worship me, well now I'm going to kill your entire family." I dig the gruesomeness of it.

As for my unpolished/amatuerish comment, I should clarify. When the sprite shows up on the visual novel screen, there's a lot of graphical transparency artifacts in the outline of the clothing, which I think something happened either during the painting process where it's not fully opaque or some kind of transparency thing is happening where it looks all fuzzy. At first I thought it might be not using layers and just paint bucket filling in, but I'm not sure what your art process was. The open mouth with all the teeth showing was certainly a choice for a starting expression, since it also looks like he's constantly yelling, but with digital I think it wouldn't be too much to have an open and closed maw sprite. I would also suggest looking into using eyebrows and eyelids to help convey emotion in your sprites. You'd be surprised how many expressions you can get with just a closed mouth with a few sharp teeth sticking out, and then adding in facial expressions with eyebrows and curves to the mouth to give smiles, frowns, or neutral emotions.