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This was an incredibly cute, simple story.

The first thing I'll say, which is likely the obvious thing most people will say, is that the art is unbelievably good. It's really cute and distinct, easily deserving of the high praise I'm sure you'll receive.


Spoiler warning ahead for anyone reading this comment that hasn't read the VN yet (although I guess you probably shouldn't even be reading the comments at all if you're worried about that lol)


Ultimately this is a story about living up to past legacy. With what I can only describe as a "red riding hood flair".

I think the overall message of how it's better to create things your own way instead of trying to copy someone from the past is a good message, although it's definitely a pretty common one.

There were a lot of nice, cute scenes. There was a fair amount of typos and the grammar felt off at times, but I never let it bother me since I understand that English isn't the main language of this VN.

The story wasn't bad, but I feel like the beginning didn't really hook me much outside of having a really cute wolf. I went back to re-read act 1 to see if I could understand why, and I think it takes a little too long for the stakes to be established. Going back from the ending, I now know that the opening scene is the remnants of the grandmother's legacy, which he even stole from his mother, being completely destroyed to give birth to the wolf. An act which... Doesn't seem to have any impact on him at all afterwards. I understand you wanted it to be a reveal for later, but without the context the stakes of act 1 amount to "He has vague internal struggles about creation that we'll find out about later". Which is completely fine stakes when you're already hooked on a story, but isn't that effective as the hook itself.

I mean, the absolutely adorable wolf would probably be enough of a hook for most. But yeah, narratively the hook isn't quite there.

(Sorry, I've used the word "hook" way too much lol)


But yeah, overall I enjoyed reading it greatly. Thank you both for creating this. I wish the best for both of you.

Thank you very much for the comment. The criticism about the initial hook is completelly valid, i didn't even think about it since i had so little time to conceptualize and write the story (Less than 1 Month is really short for someone who's used to taking a lot of time thinking about their stories, lol.)

I really don't deal well with short stories, so it was a big challenge. Thank you very much for the compliments and for taking the time to read my work <3