Thank you very much for the comment. The criticism about the initial hook is completelly valid, i didn't even think about it since i had so little time to conceptualize and write the story (Less than 1 Month is really short for someone who's used to taking a lot of time thinking about their stories, lol.)
I really don't deal well with short stories, so it was a big challenge. Thank you very much for the compliments and for taking the time to read my work <3