itch.io

This game was published in the last 24 hours.  It's game url includes "chapter-9" as such it will have to be removed when chapter 10 is released.  I hadn't looked at the other games, some of them have proper urls and updates are posted there, but this one does not.  Most people are rightfully wary of brand "new" games here on itch.

Why do you make a new itch game page with every chapter?  I have no idea if this game is any good because there are no ratings or comments (which is usually something to be wary of).  Makes it impossible to keep track if there are updates as well.

I just want to throw this idea out there.  Since the current "bond" in the world can be modified by very advanced mages, it might be an interesting idea if a new type of bond could be discovered or invented with the help of one of the gods, and old bonds could be converted by very rare or powerful people with the right knowledge.

Specifically a companion bond which has some similarities such as can't be removed by other people, looks like the existing bond except to someone knowledgeable.  But different in that it allows tracking both ways (not just one way) and possibly communication.  Either side can dispell the bond after a sufficient confirmation if they really want to.  Neither side can give orders, and does not cause pain for any reason.  Does not restrict either side in any way.  Companion bonds can be linked to multiple people if they really want to.  Can still enhance certain abilities and feelings.

Feel free to use this in your story if it's useful to you.

Where was it suggested there should be choices?  It is merely commentary on the story so far and what may happen in the future based on previous events.

That's surprising.  If you're stuck with the menu system, you could add a 4th menu option that's always greyed out for the current level.  This would at least let floors always be at the same place in the menu, aiding muscle memory.

Recently finished reading and this was an enjoyable story so far.  Here are some thoughts on characters so far.

Warning Spoilers below

MC pays a wage every week or so right? having a small reminder of this would show their increased financial independence.  MC could help Lucy open her own bank account as well.  This might be a surprise for Catherine, as even a contract can't negate the need to pay a minimum wage (at least in a just society).  This will give her the opportunity to pay off the debt or double down and commit.

Brian as a villain hasn't really shown much vileness, other than some words.  Is he being secretly abusive to mika?  but careful to do it in private and in ways that doesn't show?  Gives an opportunity for MC to find out and help Lenny to break her away from Brian, maybe they'll eventually get a mildly decent ending together.  This will further isolate Brian and make him more dangerous.

Akatsuki's dad is a bit eccentric, and it seems like the families use this against him by reminding him of MC's granddad all the time in order to "keep him in his place".  MC doesn't seem to care about secret recipes and just cares about making good food, so eventually they'll get along pretty well and MC could learn a bunch from him.

MC and Akatsuki jointly made a mistake in the kitchen, one might expect him to take some "punishment" as well to be fair and all.

Are the families dangerous to each other in ways more than financial?  Should the MC be on the lookout for votes that will destroy the balance of power even if he's voting with one side only?

0.2 Spoilers and speculative spoilers for 0.3+ below, beware.

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0.2 spoilers ahead, you've been warned.

Going into 0.3 with MC forgetting to cliffhang (ouch), I suspect the MC won't stay in the original world for long as splitting a story between two worlds doesn't make much sense for this story when there's so much of this new world to explore.

First off they'll probably visit the burger shop with Cindy and visit Abby and maybe some of her AF friends as an obvious plug for a great game.

Later, MC wondering if it was all a dream, but realizes he can use magic and shows Cindy.  Gaia detects this and investigates, says Ea messed up and didn't make sure MC's original body was actually dead.  Won't let magic exist in original world and decides to send MC back and Cindy has to have her memory erased or go with MC.

If they're lucky they get to take their stuff from the apartment, if really lucky, a download of wikipedia.  It will be interesting to see if MC can leverage technology or will go native and stick to magic alone.  MC and Cindy probably won't be back to original world again, except maybe in flashbacks or the epilogue.

Some long term goals for MC on the light path: learning how to remove runes, maybe for everyone.

Anyway this is all just speculation.  The story is off to an excellent start.  Combat could use some variety.

The hotel stairs are a UI disaster.  It takes too many clicks to get to the level you want, first you have to click the stairs, then the menu order changes depending on the level you're on, often resulting in clicking the wrong floor and having to do repeat.

Instead of clicking  on the stairs to pull up a menu, have 3 different click area buttons, one for each level taking you instantly to that floor.  Maybe signs on the wall, with the current floor without a sign? 

Another suggestion is in regards to sound.  Add sound at the very beginning of the game, before free roaming, and then take it away with a very early mysterious event of some sort.  This will help new players not be so confused about it.

Otherwise it's a fun story so far.

Since you're planning a new patch to this game soon, I wanted to mention that Mount Everest is NOT the tallest mountain on earth (it's #3 after 2 Hawaiian mountains), so in the quiz show I recommend you change the questions wording to ask "highest" instead of "tallest" (in the english translation).

If you ever decide to come and expand AF, it may be interesting to be able to push Nicolas into a relationship/donor with amanda as was teased at the birthday party.  That'd let amanda act as a mom for emily without it being weird with the mc.  Perhaps this might open an honest path to Megan without Nicolas leaving, but the timing of existing and new events in that would be tricky.

I really enjoyed your writing and story telling, thanks a bunch.

Inventory management is a pain right now.  Not enough space in your chest (just make it huge).  The transfer screen is not well designed, you should be able to just transfer from either side without switching sides.  Also closing the chest should be the same key as opening it.  (windows).

You can delete saves by hovering the mouse over them and pressing the delete key.

Saves are also duplicated in the game/saves folder and ~username/AppData/Roaming/RenPy/gamename so you have to delete/rename them on both.

Mac is probably similar. No idea about mobile.

Pretty much all ren'py games follow this model.

People are confused because they're trying to remove it through the wardrobe.  They can remove it through the inventory screen however.