Thank you for the review! And personally, I quite enjoy reading long reviews, so this was really nice to see, and there's some great points of feedback for me to keep in mind for future projects here!
I think you hit the nail on some spots that I could have done better - at the end of the day, the development of the concept for the game was quite off the cuff, and started with the rewind mechanic before continuing from there, which I think contributed to how "contrived" the setup to the story can feel at times - I ended up deciding to leave it as something that players would have to sort of just accept as it is, but I definitely understand that can be a tough ask.
Likewise, there was definitely more room to cover the "internet" side of things better - at the end of the day I didn't intend for Alan's online presence to actually be as bad as Saul paints it, just for him to be one person (with an admittedly larger following than most) participating in a broader online backlash - but with the limited time, I ended up not properly fleshing that out, and focusing more on Saul's inner conflict / fears than on making the reality of the situation clear to the reader.
I suppose that's how it is with Game Jams - this story was a particular challenge to write for due to the focus on gameplay and on providing the players with choices (which also shows in the Ludonarrative Dissonance you brought up), but I do feel satisfied with the story I wound up managing to write - though admittedly I might go back to polish it up a bit more after the submission period is over, because I definitely think there's room for improvement.
That aside, I'm glad you enjoyed the presentation! Honestly, my main goals for the jam were to make some sort of interesting gameplay mechanic, and to play with pixel art for the presentation somehow - so seeing it be received well is a great feeling! (also, on a slight note - while the beach scene does still have the pixel art, I actually made the conscious decision to have it be the only scene with a soundtrack that isn't chiptune, in order to represent a similar idea to what you mentioned of leaving behind Saul's perception of things as a 'game'.)



