itch.io

"(Twink) Death (of) the Thief of Stars"! In all seriousness though, I've never had any contact with this side of folklore or mythology, but even if this were a 1:1 retelling of a myth, the execution is so skillful that I would find it hard to use that against it.

The art is sublime, the writing flows, and the story is very captivating, so I find it hard to pick out many weaknesses in this submission. Only a couple of small things irked me a little during the whole game, and for a project this long, for so few slips to occur is also worth commending.

The only real issue worth mentioning is that by the end of the story, I had grown quite tired of Libulan's whole "No one understands me" shtick while refusing to elaborate much beyond "My brother was always more important," while at the same time seemingly refusing to talk with anyone other than the protagonist. Now, it may be that he tried and failed, or perhaps his brother lies about it, but if that's the case, he doesn't disclose any of it either.

Nevertheless, this detracts very, very little from the project, and I still found myself heavily invested in the characters and the story for its entire duration.

OMG IT'S ALBERT C(L)AMUS! The story did not captivate me at first, as at the start I was convinced that it was strange for the sake of being strange and obtuse on purpose to pretend it had depth. I was wrong.

That, however, does not mean that I won't have a problem rating this VN, as no frame of reference holds up. The presentation is basic and very charming at times, but ranges from highly effective to actively detracting from the story (the heartbeat). I am very pleased that the story never states any answer outright, but I know that it bordering on incomprehensible might not score it great notes with everyone.

My favourite element of the novel is how the grand narrative could be interpreted in a couple of ways, none of which were proven or disproven, leaving the story in a sort of quantum state. Hard to say a lot about it, really, but I enjoyed it much more than I expected to, and it's one of my favourite entries in general!

A very, very interesting story, and a pretty accurate portrayal of some heavy stuff. The story beats are on point, the characters are very believable, and the presentation, whilst simple, works very well. Also, it's pretty impressive to reach the word minimum in a linear story for the Jam.

I particularly enjoyed some sprite work and the comedic banter between the characters, which made me laugh more than once. I think my biggest criticism, which is very likely just because of my biases, is how bluntly the ending is handled, even though it works story-wise very well. I got hit by a wave of disconnect when, during the final breakdown, the protagonist, spiraling in an episode of depression, is both able and willing to express his feelings, and, to a lesser degree, Tristan is able to say just the right things to bring him out of said spiral (bordering on what some might call therapy-speak).

This, though, was alleviated by a decent margin via the fact that those words don't suddenly "fix" depression, but instead the narrative chooses to show it as the first of many steps toward getting better. Nevertheless, the story is exceptional, and it might be on my mind for a decent while!

"That one other space VN, but this time they asked first!" An easy joke to make, of course, but it would be hard not to notice the connection. For starters, the art is insane and we all know it, but it's hard not to mention when it's such an important element.

Now, porn without plot never did a lot for me, but the setup was good enough in the... well, the intro to the smut, that I was pretty invested (in the protagonist more so than the wolf). There are a lot of small touches in the dialogue that imply a lot of things about the current state of society on Earth, and I really liked the element of what essentially was homophobia being implied.

To me, this would be a much, much more effective story, even if more cliché, if the sex was a payoff for a longer narrative, which is obviously not going to happen within the scope of the jam, but still. In any case, great art, great porn, and a single shirt packed alongside lube for space missions!

Short, sweet, and to the point! Not every day you get to read a VN with (borderline) slave trade of anthro wolf-sharks, that's for sure, and more rarely still you get to have something like that used effectively for the narrative. Now, that doesn't mean it didn't trigger my sensors on how the main characters aren't really that... bothered by it, in general, outside of the one of them it affected, but it was presented as a part of the culture and not a main focus of the story anyway.

This is one of the stories that handled the folklore aspect very well, since it does more than slap an existing myth onto a story; instead, it is built around it. My biggest criticism, by a large margin, would be how mechanical the writing felt at times, describing every move of the characters in the form of a list: "Took the cup, opened the microwave door, put the cup in, etc..." That is to say, however, that at the climax of the story I was not really paying attention to that, since I was invested in the relationship of the two main characters.

Ultimately, it's a self-contained story that's fun to read, if not a little cliché.

"I can fix him, I swear!" the novel! But in all seriousness, a very captivating story about abuse, exploitation, and toxic relationships in general. Somehow, it avoided being too heavy, but that might be a consequence of not reaching any big breakdown between the two main characters. I really enjoyed the implications in the dialogue, leading me to speculate about both of the characters' pasts. The art is sublime, especially the very last CG, and the writing works well.

My only criticisms would probably be the slightly clunky dialogue at the very start of the novel, and a feeling that the folklore was more of a last-minute addition. Still, those detract very little from the whole package, and I would consider this entry a great introduction to a story with great potential.

A dive into the absurd for sure, but a pretty entertaining comedy anyway! Now, rating this under any parameters you might rate other stories by is borderline impossible, but there are many things worthy of note. For starters, the story is dramatically elevated story-wise by the inclusion of the director-actors dynamic, making the story much more... believable, in a sense. The comedy, as it always is, can be hit or miss, and your mileage may vary depending on... well, how terminally online you are, for starters.

Now, to me, in such projects there is always a prevalent thought: "Is the shown distance from your own work a method of protection from exposing yourself?" Of course, I don't know that, but it's not something that's easy to ignore, unfortunately. I do hope that the author(s) try their hand at a more serious, or at least more directly polished, story, since I think they are more than capable enough to create a good story without the veneer of a 'silly project', per se. Lastly, I would like to note that the art, and especially the sprites, are phenomenal, and I would be more than happy if I saw them in a full-fledged VN.

Ultimately, it's an entertaining comedy that leans very heavily on a gimmick. Still, I laughed many times and might come back to it sometime if I find myself in the mood for it.

Quite a fun story! Well, as fun as the subject allows it to be anyways, since it does attempt to tackle some heavy stuff. An interesting take on the trope of 'Popular girl tries to be friends with the Loser (tm)', with a pretty decent execution no less. It could certainly benefit from a bit more time spent on visual elements like transitions, but under the scope of the Jam it certainly had higher priorities, and it works well enough. It's hard to say I managed to predict the twist of the story when it wasn't trying to particularly hide it, but the direct reveal of it was still good enough for me to be surprised by some elements. Now, the abrupt endings are a bit unbalanced, since one of them works very well, and the other one comes a bit out of left field; however, again, as the game was made in a month, it's not as much of a criticism as a note. The writing is quite fluid and works quite well, and except for some grammar errors, no major issues arise, maybe minus the characters playing through the entirety of [what is implied to be] Portal 2, but that's more funny than disruptive~ Ultimately, it's a charming submission that managed to keep me invested for the whole story, albeit cut a touch short.

Pretty interesting! The novel places an emphasis on the disconnect between, for lack of better words, 'us' and 'them' and different types of people in general, under the lens of 'normal' social interactions. It's awkward on purpose to a pretty good extent and is decently funny. It is very self-indulgent with characterizing the protagonist, which I can't help but think of as anything other than the author self-describing, and it takes a decent chunk of the short story to do so. Knowing how quickly it was made explains quite a bit, and in that aspect, the story is pretty impressive, but it unfortunately doesn't help against the feeling that something is missing. The writing, most notably of the wolf, is by far the strongest aspect of the novel, often being charming, disarming, and funny. Overall, this novel feels like it was made to resonate with a certain niche of people, and while that may not be me, I can see the vision.

An incredibly enDeerIng story and a great slice of life Visual Novel altoghether! Also, a very welcome refreshment from all of the drama and misery of NovemBuck~

An incredible ammount of polish with even the little things like consistency of the uniforms between characters taken care of! I don't see that much to be picked out in terms of criticism that I can think about, maybe save for how the pacing is a little lobsided.

Cannot wait to see what other projects the creators might create!

Quite a cute and down-to-earth story! It does what it sets out to do quite well, especially for a first project~

A couple of small issues with the sprites at one point, and the slightly inconsistent narrator/inner monologue inconsistencies, but it easily makes up for it with good writing!
A personal nitpick of mine, is also the way that poetic prose lines are mixed with simple text, but the dialogue is handled really well!

I think to me, the best part of the whole novel is the dinner scene with a really nice CG and cute dialogue (also the highlighting of characters as they are speaking is a really nice touch!)

Thanks!

Does the "Your submission must remain untouched for the following month" rule include elements like the itch.io page, or are those outside the scope of 'submission'? Assuming the game itself remains untouched, of course.

This is honestly, absurdly good. As in, I have no idea how much passion, skill and work would have to go into a project to match this. Moontouched continues to stun with the writing and worldbuilding of the world, which feels alive and mystical.

Now, I am definetely biased, since this VN has just about everything I love in both the world and... well the porn. The reverence, freedom and romance all in heaps. One moment you're performing a sacred ritual in which your life fundamentaly changes, with nudity all around you, however it is neither blasphemous nor inherently sexual. It's just there. Free from such burdens, but not restrained.

The characters react to even the smallest of choices from every poin in the story, or that's how it seems. I've been surprised multiple times, by unrelated events having even a single line of dialogue, making it exceptionaly easy to believe that the characters are a living part of the world that they reside in.

This is also one of the only stories where I found myself liking just about every character, while they are still super unique and interesting. While I liked Kirik least, I still wanted to see all of his lines, laughed at some, smiled at others. All of them are simply exceptionaly written.

And the Crème de la crème - the art. In all honesty... Simply the best furry art I've ever came across and possibly of any art I've ever had the pleasure to see in general. Everything from composition to rendering - stellar. The porn - hotter than just about any I've seen. The ritual sequences filling me with ACTUAL REVERENCE in a game about WEREWOLF DICK. That feel counterintuitive on a fundamental level, and yet. Every background perfect to hang on your wall. I adore the map drawing. And the bloody animations? Simply exceptional.

Only once I felt like something was missing, and it was minor anyway - I really wanted to know more about the tribes, how they started and all. I also realised that I've pretty much never wanted to know as much about lore of any piece of media I've ever consumed, which just made me like the VN more. I know a decent bit about Storm wolves and something about Tidal ones, but I did find myself wanting to know more about all of them. Then I also realised that this is ONLY CHAPTER ONE?? Obviously exposition about everything eveywhere would be a bit much.

I could glaze this VN for ten more hours and I still would have more great things to say. Easily the best FVN I've ever read and in top 5 of all of media I've ever consumed. I understand that it's risque enough not to be for eveyone, however this is precisely what I and many others have ever wanted from a VN.

Cannot wait for more, however if it takes 50 years to complete, I know it will be worth every waiting day. Thank you for creating Moontouched and sharing the world with us and I wish you all the best, both in creating this project and everything else!

Phenomenal story! I really enjoyed the paper aesthetic of the visuals, the soundscaping and I'm a big sucker for hopeless-hopeful stories, that are about finding the best in the worst! Great job!

Thanks! It means a lot :3

Hi! I've noticed a slight difference between the new rules and the ones from this post - Namely the word "anthro" before 'wolf', and would love some clarification on that. How humanoid does the character(s) have to be? Do they have to have a generaly human silhouette/body type, or does sentience suffice? Do they have to stay that form for the most/all of the time, or does the fact that they can/are sometimes humanoid satisfy that condition? Thanks in advance for any info you can provide :3

Hello friends, I'm c_mooon on Discord, and I am looking if any team still needs a writer. I have been writing poetry for a while, but gotten into FVN's and that style of writing not that long ago, so I would still consider myself a novice writer, but I would be very happy to join any team on this jam. I am open to writing more or less anything, whether you already have an idea of the story or want to create it with me  :3

Thank you and feel free to write to me whenever, looking forward to the jam friends ^^