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Benevolentwanderer

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A member registered Aug 24, 2018 · View creator page →

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Cute and has a great deal of promise! 

However, there are issues with the English localization. This isn't a line by line analysis, just the basics:

  • There are a number of jokes that involve the possibility that children are being touched inappropriately by adults. In general, these won't go over well in the states, particularly in the preexisting English-primary-speaker Motherlike fanbase, which has a downright rabid fear of creators turning out to be child predators...
  • "Determination" is used in a thematically significant way 3 times. 1 time is a cute nod to an inspiration; more than that risks overassociating your game with Undertale, where that word plays a crucial role in the game's text and motifs.
  • General janky wording, especially in long dialogues towards the end of the demo.

Basically: you need a native English speaker to edit the English localization after translation to make things sound good, retain emotional tenor, and prevent culture-based marketing issues.

So, some more thoughts now that I've made it through the character introductions! (I stopped at the point you start to collect the other party members)

I haven't checked to confirm whether there's a different introductory sequence for each potential PC, but I think it would really improve the player experience to (if the paths are different) allow the player to see however many routes they like before making a final choice of PC (basically, add a dialogue tree at the end of the flashback that directs the player back to the room where the choice is made, and only let the player confirm they want to play a PC after having seen their route) or (if paths only change the PC name/minor details) make it clearer that the player will only see one PC's past per playthrough. I was really disappointed to find out I'd have to savescum to figure out!

Hey, level "peer pressure" seems unsolvable?

I've figured out how to turn the darts on and off, but there's nowhere I can jump but onto spikes, and I can't get the potato to move.....

Hmmm, this looks promising!

In addition to typical art-creation purposes, this looks like it could be useful (after you make a system for custom brush loading - perhaps from numbered PNG files for each potential sprite in a brush?) for games that use sprites to create static maps - the RPG Maker community in particular uses this technique a lot, but most existing methods of placing sprite assets into image files are slow and tedious.

I used too much indirect phrasing and that translation is almost incomprehensible. My proposal that google translate could localize this game was foolish. That software is simply too feeble! (I hope this comment translates closer)


Надеюсь, это логично, так как я использую гугл-переводчик ... эта игра выглядит фантастически, и я думаю, что английскую локализацию стоило бы сделать, даже если это будет сделано не хуже моих попыток написать этот комментарий.

psst, this should be listed under physical games!

Oof, what a way to end a story!

Haven't played yet, but gosh, so amazed at how well you've adapted the RTP materials that I'm temporarily breaking my "no downloads until you delete some things" vow to give it a try. The fine-tune shading and lighting is doing a fantastic job of minimizing the unnatural/stilted aspects of the base assets and making things look cohesive. Look forward to seeing how it comes across in-game!

I started squinting at the game description, suddenly seized by a fit of... recognition

is... is that.....

And then I saw the full price.


........it IS

Actually, these look quite nice?

Tip - if these are meant for users of RPGmaker, you can append frames for the next animation to the bottom of the previous image. Using this to group all animations of a given type makes animation sets more userfriendly, because there's a cap on how many sheets you can load for one animation.

Oh, this looks fantastic - simultaneously raw and gritty, but ALSO readable.

I'm probably going to use this in the updated version of this game !

This looks great, but there's no ttf file attached to the page........ ;) might wanna fix that

Frankly, because there is way, way, way too much homophobic and transphobic horror in the world already, itch is a place with a lot of LGBTQ+ makers and players, and there is literally no reason to put up with creators who are clearly using their platform to make other people feel unwelcome for existing. (The same goes for racism and people it targets, xenophobia, etc.)

Window does not fit on "high def" resolution monitor. This is a pretty major issue - you want the web play version to be sized so people with bad screens can play, and this means even decent screens are too small!

(Yo, NanoWIP buddies!!!)

Can't wait to see the running demo!

art and color choice are great! Could use interact dialogue to really sell the concept/

Awww, this is super cute! Great job!

If I can ever get one to work properly, I may make a Earthtongue mod that uses some of these...

Hullo! I've audaciously and ~bodaciously~ submitted something that isn't actually ready yet... it's free, though?

Saw this jam yesterday and fell in love, which is, frankly, poor decision-making but... oh well, this seems to be a "the more, the merrier" type of jam, so perhaps you won't mind? My submission is a 5E/D&D compatible module designed for VOIP/IM-client compatibility; it's about 30-50% finished in the form being submitted (missing a large chunk of the text, all of the images and formatting for the final version, and assorted supplemental files. 50% of the intended illustrations exist, they're just not digitized.)

Unfortunately, I'm stuck living with my parents, one of whom is emotionally unstable at the best of times, and our region just entered a higher level of lockdown, so I ended up spending the energy I'd been saving to finish writing on family caretaking. So, uh. Was reluctant to give up on the dream of Chicken RPG-ing, in spite of everything?

here ya go!

...Why is there a login screen for a singleplayer game, and why is there no way to register for it?

Hmm, well, it doesn't work on my 1920x1080 in full screen - bottom and right edge clip off only partway through the map and interface!

....is that a nb vibe I spy, or am I mistaken?

Suggestion: if you can get this to read tilemaps in the Tiled format, you'll save a lot of work

Particularly for the purposes of itchio's community as it exists, I think it would be useful to - in addition to "is this NSFW or not" and "what (of a limited list of content warnings) makes it NSFW?" ask "is this game intended as erotica."

Furthermore, add an icon marker to games flagged as NSFW even when a user has noted that they wish to see these games.

I want to see art games whether or not they include NSFW content, but by turning on "show NSFW" most of what's added is niche erotica targeted at someone who is not me. (I'm sure the intended consumers of those games are likewise irritated.) 

Being able to filter out topics that one desires not to be exposed to - for example, I really don't want to see naked ladies, but am fine with the reverse; lots of people feel the other way around - would also be nice, and that's a level of specificity past the list of specific content warnings already described. (It would have to be enforced laxly, because a major chunk of itch's creator and userbase is trans, so there are a lot of cases where nudity in a product can't be strictly classed as one thing or another.)

When you can't read a game's page, or the text in a game, you can't play it. That doesn't mean anything about the quality of the game, but it's annoying to be constantly served games that look good but would be, in practice, not possible for me to play in the manner intended!

Add a language/language support tag option to games and the ability to filter in and out by language in searches.

(Also, this system should extend to comics, books, etc. where the text is even more important to the experience.)

Lemme know here.

Ah shoot, this is a cool concept! Any chance of wrappering it for desktop or browser?

The modules update is like... godlike in awesomeness

This is super great! 

Some quick improvements I would love to experience: 

  • ability to regen notes without changing the map (and vice versa)
  • A mode that adds incidental notes to every room (ex. "battle here" "puzzle here") 

Beautiful, philosophical, absurd - all the things one could ask for from a short vignette! I love it!

(play the conversation before reading onward)

It's also great to see an inversion of the "everyone is Jesus in purgatory"/"and they were dead all along" trope.

Downright unplayable; swinging the mouse only registers as a hit about a quarter of the time and it's not clear whether you're allowed to pick the order in which you craft items.

Hey, thanks!

Yeah, it's meant to be a nice, simple way to boost up a tile-only map that's tileset agnostic.

Beautiful, good puzzling, touching, poignant... but.... BUT.....

might, uh, want to rethink the ending SLIGHTLY




...."press F to pay respects"

aww, that was clever AND cute! not what I was expecting at all, but actually BETTER than that!

Hey, uh, I can't figure out how to trigger any interactions or room exits, what am I doing wrong?

OH HEY, IT'S YOU, I wrote like half this comment before checking the guide and realizing who made the game, haha... so good to see you actually getting your design-work into playable format.

-------

whooa boy, that was an experience... and a good one too! I'm going to give it a ~full review~ because it's a proof of concept??? 

Overall, a very nice mix of Yumi-Nikki type surrealism and narrative gameplay. The limited pallet is used to good effect, with judicious use of color distributions in different areas that substantially contribute to difference in atmosphere. The art is fantastic.

The very first zone (pre-town) could do with a bit more "gameplay" to it - the stage it sets doesn't clue the player in to the idea that the game is more than pretty pictures alone. Having some sort of useless pick-up-able (a piece of crumpled-up paper??? Something that forshadows a later important character?)  would probably fix that. (You have a preexisting reputation for quality work, which prevents this somewhat, but from a creator who's less well-known people might set down the game there assuming it's a walking sim, and people who were expecting a walk-and-talk sim will get confused when there's actual gameplay.)

few of the setpieces (for example, the three faceless people/women(?) in the last of the promo shots) feel like they should have a little more interactivity/respond to advancement of gameplay in some way and do not, and it's not always clear what objects are interactable and what are not, which left me wishing for filler dialogue, even if it was relatively generic ("a desk", "a table", "a chair", etc.) 

Onto things that were dictated by platform limitations:

Character walksprite animates too slow, makes it look like she's gliding everywhere. (This is one of those "tiny detail, big impact" type things to check on when you're working with an engine that lets you control it, which GB Studio, afaik..... does not.)

Item menus are nice, and I found myself missing them a little.

The 4-color aesthetic is fantastic for this, a perfect fit for that lo-fi horror vibe, and that you were able to make the areas visually distinct beyond just subject matter is... A+, good art. However, I think the game could be improved without inherently altering any of the pixelwork if it were re-rendered in an engine that lets you switch between sets of colors between, even with very, very subtle changes in hsv between the different zones.

Audio: GB Studio has some ridiculous standards for what you can put into it, and between that and, y'know, the huge time-sink of actually composing tracks (hahaaaa, I've programmed a whole unpublished game and stalled out there.....), it's obvious why you didn't add it for a proof-of-concept. 

If, at some point, you decide to revisit and tweak this game concept in an engine that supports sane audio formats: tracks that are just subtle bg noises (as appropriate for the zone) + faint noise (different varieties from white/pink/etc and pitches in different areas) plus perhaps chords fading in and out would fulfill that "hey, this feels like there should be sound" need without taking ridiculously long to put together. (I would probably fade them out for the closeup shots to give them emphasis, but that's ultimately an artistic choice)


An idea, from me to you:

This game is a perfect size and level of complexity to port to other engines as a learning tool, and I, as a consumer, would love to see you do that, just to see what changes you make! 

There's a temptation to make a whole new proof-of-concept game every time you test a new engine... don't do it. Better to do something fast and a little sloppy with a net of interactions you already understand before you're actually trying to program a new thing "from scratch."


Platforms to consider:

  • yo, someone who isn't kadabura, buy kadabura an RPGMaker MV key next time it's on sale. RPGMaker kinda sucks, but it also has all the capacities of GBMaker minus some of the limitations, so you can choose what limitations you want to set.
  • PM me and I can give you a copy of the installer for the old, free version of Gamemaker.
  • https://gdevelop-app.com/ is overfeatured, but an introduction to somewhat more complicated programming without being wildly awful for beginners

ANYWAY, 10/10 amazing proof of concept with awesome art, a sweet story, and compelling characters. Can't wait to see what you do next!

Ah, you can fall off the left side of the screen in the very beginning???

wow, appropriately lurid and intense graphics. 

This is hilarious and I am amused; although some of the screens are not fully readable bc the display area for the twine is too small