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(+4)

So far, I'm loving this! Early on in Morris' route. The writing is great, the humor is wonderful, and there's generous use of basic animations. SUPER kudos for putting in the effort NOT to mirror sprites when it would be obvious (the store uniforms, the hearts shirt, Morris' arm, etc). I notice some characters don't have speaking sprites (like Vendrake), but this is still a very early build from the version number.

You also managed to make a flamboyantly gay character that doesn't drive me up the wall, and in fact is someone I care for, with King. (I'm bi, so it's not the sexuality of those characters that gets to me.) He's bright, confident, and affectionate without being overbearing and in-your-face. I can't wait to see how things turn out for him!

I noticed how linear it was, and coming back here I see its "mostly kinetic" so that explains things. That said, I think you might want to consider changing the narration from second person to third, since Kobu is clearly his own character, and because it's so linear. I don't feel like I'm Kobu the same way as other VN protags because of how few choices we get. So maybe make it third-person? (I know that's a LOT to rewrite, so I understand if you decide not to ^^; )

I super-appreciate that you actually have multiple body shapes available for paths--you've got the twink, the bara, and the beefcake. As a fan of softer guys, I think it's awesome that you're letting us choose like this. All three also are quite interesting. Lucien's stuck up, but clearly concerned and good at heart; Morris is surprisingly crafty for a boar (yay pigs!) and down to Earth; and Toast is adorably off the wall. As well, I've noticed that your nipples are...actually pretty tame, and that's kinda refreshing. They don't try and draw your attention, they're very simple and convey what you intend. (At least on Kobu so far, dunno how it is on the others.)

Overall, this is a lovely project, and I can't wait to see where this goes. If the story itself is already complete, as in we get an ending, I'll be VERY impressed since this is such an early build! Keep working hard, looking forward to more :)

(+1)

Agree with a lot of what you said; and I am so glad someone else mentioned the character stills! Those little details like seeing Morris' watch on one side and not the other show a lot of care and go a long way.

(+1)

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, though we make no promises we can adapt all raised points, we will continue to strive forward to producing a good game!

(+1)

FerreTrips' comment about the second point view story telling did get me curious about your thoughts. 

O I love about WTDL is how unique of a character Kobu is. He has his own personality, goals, and faults; and I think the choices we get are an extension of what could happen based off of Kobu's experiences and behavior. On one hand, I can see how it could make the reader feel less like Kobu; but on the other, I think it makes for a more dynamic character for this story rather than having a "blandish" character that could fit the player's personality.

Anyway, my main question was: was there any reasons why you chose to use a second point of view for the story? I think it works well, but did you debate about using a different point of view? 

(1 edit) (+3)(-1)

The POV was thought about in the development phase of the demo. It came down to a few factors:

1. The writer's experience was writing in the second person.
2. The use of  "I" at the point of planning the writer thought it might cause a disconnect, as it implies the character is the player, but the character does not talk or choose things the same way as the character, so it didn't feel suitable.
3. Then there was the option to go third person which at the time felt like it was against the goal of having the player feel like they are int he adventure, but recent reception seem to indicate people don't mind a third person perspective, but it's too late to change now.
4. That's why second person was chosen as the middle ground of not too immersive and not too little immersion.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s interesting to see a bit of the writing process.