Post by Reynald in Harem Hotel (18+) comments

Viewing post in Harem Hotel (18+) comments

I had really high hopes until Vanessa shows up. Then everything gets depressing and shitty. Coincidence? I think not.

Nia and Vanessa are both incredibly dimwitted and short sighted for what they get away with. The writing around their stories lacks the depth of all of the rest of the characters, despite both of them ending up being major players. Nia's story is a bit better written, mostly because there's some actual motivation and a little bit of character development. But Vanessa is almost entirely redundant and forces the plot forward at an unnatural pace, with pointlessly long lectures about things that the player (presumably) already knows, agrees with, or is actively trying to accomplish, and renders large swaths of the story moot.

The PC spent nearly 3/4 of the story gaining social standing and political positioning, for what? A giant plot hole? Law enforcement androids exist all over the city, the protest should have been quelled immediately with one order from the mayor that couldn't be disobeyed. And then they just get deus ex'd out of there by Android, who they could have used to safely get the message out to begin with.

Cornwall knows Lin, the only logical continuation of the story is that the hotel gets raided by the military, everyone gets arrested and charged with seditious conspiracy, the elves get hung, Android and Ally get powered off and liquidated, Autumn's father and sister get excommunicated from the church, and the PC gets deported back to the Capitol where he's executed for attempting to start a revolution.

Too much current day social commentary with no nuance and not enough babies with Ashley.

Reynald45 days ago(+7)(-1)

That being said, I think their stories and characters seem so much less polished or fleshed out compared to the other characters because everyone else is so well written and have engaging character development. While Nia and Vanessa, but Vanessa specifically, just appear and almost immediately start putting the hotel at risk with their own carelessness. Kali seems to even address this within the story with her annoyance with Vanessa's zealous lecturing.

I just don't understand what all the political posturing through most of the story is for if it's seemingly got thrown out so easily. The trajectory of the story up to that point places the PC in a position to actually be able to have some sway on Mr. Cornwall (and the church) and Mr. Trenero (and the human politicians) opinions towards living as equals with the elves.

I hope that the slow progress of v0.18 is a restructuring of the story up to this point to set it up for a more meaningful, long term story. I would rather see the story span 10-20 years, where the change is the result of character development and support than through divine intervention in less than 2 years.

TL;DR

Amazing story and characters. Please don't lose motivation, there's a number of beautiful stories here that deserve closure.

Also, give Ashley babies already!

Sploodgebutt5543 days ago(+2)(-7)

IMO this is mostly a garbage take - but you have a point with Cornwall knowing Lin.

I'll be very surprised if there is a decent explanation for why they arent just arrested immediately.

Reynald29 days ago(+3)(-1)

You don't have to agree with me, that's fine.

Like I said, the story just seems to get pushed along at an unnatural pace once Vanessa is introduced, perhaps she appeared later for me based on my progression with the other girls, although I tried to do them as evenly as possible without spoilers. But I would rather see her character get fleshed out or have her attitude towards you change based on choices made earlier in the story. Maybe by having some scenes with her the first time you meet Cornwall at the rally or at the beach auctions which could have an impact on her opinion of the PC once you meet at the university.

Even Nia gets more pushback about the things she says about the PC than Vanessa, and Nia isn't nearly as insufferable or abrasive. My biggest issue is that Vanessa just lays out the entire plot in such a boring, unnecessary way. I mean, you've already learned more about the Elves and the rebellions, the church, the government, and Nero Inc than she knows when you meet her. The podcast is another major plot hole, surely it would be monitored by the government since she's always speaking out against them and broadcasting from a major University, and once Nia makes her appearance on the podcast, then it would definitely be monitored.

I don't know, she just comes across as a major liability that puts everything you've been working for in jeopardy without being even remotely likable while never really addressing the shortcomings of her own personality.

itch.io

Viewing post in Harem Hotel (18+) comments