Thanks for playing, glad you enjoyed it!
You're not wrong about the writing. I'm not really a writer either, but the first step to improving it would probably be not writing it all 30 mins before the deadline. The entire end slide (art and all) was made around noon before it was due, so there was definitely a rushed aspect to it. When my games were less story-focused and more silly, it was easier to slam out a fast goofy ending. It's a bit harder now!
I should probably go back sometime and do a full rewrite-pass on my old games. Though I'd probably have to bow out of making anything new for awhile. Just don't have the time for both. ;-;