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Part of the struggle might be that there's some substantial input lag, which on top of the natural Pong need to be where you need to be ahead of schedule at all times, makes things extra difficult. I feel like the slower characters are next to unusable as a result.

Still, this is an engaging take on the classic "strip wager" eroge conceit, and I'm determined to get a non-EZ-mode win... eventually... XD

OK, the input lag seems to improve a bit if you turn down the graphics settings at launch? If I'm not completely imagining things...

Makes sense.
I mean, lower graphics settings, less lag, better frame rate. 

There shouldn't be *any* input lag  (I didn't notice any on my dev pc and my weaker testing pc) so the lag you're experiencing is probably some interaction with the engine and your PC. I'm not even sure what those graphics settings affect, to be honest since that's built into Unity and I haven't messed with them on my end. 

Yeah, I managed a win after turning it down two notches! (The slow characters are still garbage tho, haha)

So, thanks to the tips and tricks, I've been able to beat her all the way through. The only problem I'm running into now though, is when I beat her the last time, the game crashes... and ideas as to why this might be happening?