Post by Litch in Crown of Exile comments

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Spoilers ahead.

Ah, I want to love the game, I truly do, but I cannot help but be a little disappointed with it. Starting with MC herself, who has no notable skills, yet somehow ends up protecting and advising the prince. But maybe she will get some sort of power later on, who knows, the game is not yet done, but still, it is an odd choice. Especially since her father was a high-ranked military man and could have easily trained her on either warfare, strategy or a bit about history/politics (depending on the choice made by the player, or just as a part of the story). That however I could ignore, since I do enjoy the writing style and sometimes you just read and write and play for fun. And the game is a lot of fun. Or rather, it could be. The biggest issue I have with The Crown of Exile is that it is supposed to be an "interactive fiction" and yet it feels like the choices influence nothing, save for the romance scene. No matter which option I choose for Alfh, the MC and her father note that they never shared a daughter-father bond and that it was impossible since she was her mother's daughter (yet she spent most of her childhood with him, Syl and Ishari had minimal influence over MC). No matter how blunt and crude MC is towards Irius, they seem to be best of friends a few scenes later (there is one choice where Mc can say that she won't forgive him for calling her "just a fisherman's daughter" and it is never mentioned again nor does it really change the relationship). Idk, as it is now, the game is more of a story than an IF game. And while it is not necessarily bad, both the overview of the story and the tags gave me completely different expectations.

Ramona G.190 days ago(+7)

I'm sorry you feel that way about the plot and game! Unfortunately, this is not a stat heavy IF, but s more narrative IF so you're making choices but following the same script. I dislike stat heavy IF games and prefer allowing players to choose whatever choices they want without being locked from choosing something simply because of earlier choices.

As for Ahlf not training the MC, this was answered on my Tumblr. Ahlf hated his military background and didn't want to return to that by teaching the MC how to fight - he also had a hard time with the MC in general being their child. It's a complicated family relationship that creates a lot of turmoil for him as a character.

Have you reached Part of the game? There's something called divine blessings and you can unlock that skill later on.

That said, if this isn't to your liking, that's completely fine. I know that the game won't be for some and you giving it a try is enough 😊

Litch190 days ago(+4)

I get it, I kinda dislike IF games that heavily rely on stats too, but at the same time, those games usually have a high replay value, since the routs differ from one another significantly. But I know those can be taxing on the reader and it really boils down to personal preferences.

See, I don't really follow your Tumblr and as far as I know, there was no mention of it in the story. Again, I know this is not the finished product, so it is possible you plan to include that,

One last thing, I just wanted to appreciate how you've chosen to reply. It's heartening to see authors who won't tear a reader apart after some criticism. And while I might not be the biggest fan of the game, I do hope the game becomes a success. It's clear that you've put a lot of effort and love into writing this story.

Ramona G.189 days ago(+3)

It's no trouble at all! For now, this is a very, very rough draft. I've not gone back to include extra scenes and flavour texts for most things because it slows me down when I'm writing. My plan is to have the full game complete and then I'll be doing a long and arduous beta testing where I'll ask for more nuanced feedback where I can incorporate extra options and variations 😊

The Tumblr should be linked on the game page, here on itch.io. I haven't included my Tumblr in the game or promoted it that much so I don't blame you if you've not seen it.

I'm not new to the world of writing (fictional and academic), so I've gotten used to handling criticism from readers. You made some really good points, which I hope the final editing phase can address better. Thank you again for giving the game a try and leaving your feedback!

𓆩♡𓆪𝓣𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓪𝓛𝓾𝓿𝔃𓆩♡𓆪150 days ago(-2)

SORRY BUT ACTUALLY 🤓☝

Spoilers aheeead!

I took this comment WAY too personally because these accusations are just... wrong.

First off, you continue to use she/ her pronouns for MC. You get to choose the gender for MC so it's better to use they/them, but that's neither here nor there.

"Starting with MC herself, who has no notable skills, yet somehow ends up protecting and advising the prince."

This is just plain incorrect. One of the first stat impacting choices you get to make is if you wat to increase you leadership, politics, or warfare knowledge. MC is a person who develops skills. Like, you know, a human. Also, it is foreshadowed throughout the story that MC has some sort of connection with the Ancient one's, because of their eyes, and their mom. NOT TO MENTION in chapter even we LITERALLY WIELD Astes heart! :/

"...her father was a high-ranked military man and could have easily trained her on either warfare, strategy or a bit about history/politics..."

Now, did you just skin through the letters, or what? It is made PERFECTLY CLEAR when you question Ahlf about his past and read the letters he kept in the Jade box that he was kicked off of the blood guard for his romantic escapades with Salyra. He left the past of being a blood guard behind him when it impacted him and his loved one. He kept MC distant as not to hurt them. WHY would he teach them to be a human blood hound when that was not what he himself wanted to associate with. Heck! The prologue shows in itself how badly the parents wanted to keep MC away from the blood guard! Not face them, but keep them away.

"The biggest issue I have with The Crown of Exile is that it is supposed to be an "interactive fiction" and yet it feels like the choices influence nothing, save for the romance scene. No matter which option I choose for Alfh, the MC and her father note that they never shared a daughter-father bond and that it was impossible since she was her mother's daughter (yet she spent most of her childhood with him, Syl and Ishari had minimal influence over MC)."

The choices DO influence SO MUCH. MC can choose to have a more aggressive and defiant relationship with Ahlf or a more compliant and cooperative relationship. They could never have a real father-child relationship because of AHLF. He PUSHED MC way as he describe in his letter he leaves after he died! I'm not sure what the parenthesis mean but if you're saying that they spent majority of their childhood with Ahlf Cyre culture didn't affect them, it's because of how cast out MC was due to the Isharian Cyrian war and how you are able to tell through their eyes. If you're refrencing the chunk of their childhood MC spent with Salyra, MC says themself when they arrive at the Isharian temple that their mothers teachings has been long forgotten and now just a foggy memory!

"No matter how blunt and crude MC is towards Irius, they seem to be best of friends a few scenes later (there is one choice where Mc can say that she won't forgive him for calling her "just a fisherman's daughter" and it is never mentioned again nor does it really change the relationship)."

They have to work together, it is obvious that they would need to hold some semblance of a relationship. Irus won't like, romance, or defend MC if you aren't flirtatious or kind enough to him. The choices ARE impactful. That scene about the fisherman's daughter is a grudge being held against Irus. When it comes to being on the run from a blood thirsty king and his blood thirsty army, that insult is MINOR.

Honestly it feels like you skimmed through the fist two chapters and then started typing! I don't mean to sound rude or aggressive at all, I just felt inclined to defend these terrible points that are COMPLETELY inaccurate with my life because this story and author ate down.

Thank you!

Litch149 days ago (1 edit) (+4)

I always play as a female MC, so that's probably why I used the she/her pronouns. It is clear in the description that you can choose the gender, and the author did not correct me, so I don't think it's a huge deal. However, if the author decides otherwise I will happily correct my comments.

It's not like the choice makes her a skilled fighter or advisor, so it changes nothing. Still, no notable skills are to be seen.

If she became the protector/advisor later on, as she gains the prince's trust and knows what she is doing, once she develops any skills whatsoever, then that would have been a different story. But having a literal child with little to no, if any, fighting/diplomacy skills and any knowledge of the outside world protecting the most important person in the story, is an odd choice. Or just a choice that requires too much suspension of disbelief?

Admittedly, I did not go as far as chapter eleven, as the story was clearly not meant for me. And I did read it some time ago.

It made it perfectly clear, yes. But it doesn't matter. It's not like Ahlf couldn't have taught her some self-defence, once the other kids attacked her. Couldn't have built up her endurance, strength, strength or agility (which would have been useful, considering what type of life they led). Or just teach MC about the world surrounding her, about this strange and unwelcoming country, its history or people. If not himself, then I'm sure there was at least one kind grandmother in the village. It just gives you some skills, some idea of what you are up against. The lack of any of this, suggests to me that Ahlf was unconcerned with keeping her safe, keeping her alive. Especially considering his past (you mean to tell me that he wasn't aware of the possibility of his past catching up to them?) and the position that he had. You can keep someone away from something and yet give them some chance to succeed if your efforts are unsuccessful. This argument was however explained by the author (still idk how I feel abou it, but awkward daddy Ahlf seems like a real possibility).

The choices with Ahlf influence MC's behaviour, yes. But not the outcome. And you are supposed to shape the story through your choices. Now, I will acknowledge that most IF stories have some elements that are unchangeable and if this doesn't happen constantly or affects minor characters (Ahlf dies really early on, so let's call him a minor character) it's a-ok. Still, even a different letter for a defiant MC (the version we've got, if Syl is as defiant and violent maybe) and a cooperative, affectionate MC (telling her he loved her, that he wished for the relationship with her, but that was for the best) and an MC that is constantly scared would have been nice, that is all.

It could be minor. Or it could be a huge deal. Some people would forget about this instantly. Some would hold a grudge forever. Some would keep wondering if that is how the prince sees them even a month, a year, a decade later. And we are talking about a kid who was belittled, neglected and/or ignored her whole life.

The kicker is - they don't have to work together. Or at least not as equals. This particular relationship could take various forms, much like aby other in the game. But, at least at the time I stopped reading, nothing truly changes between the characters. Sure, we've got some different dialogue options, but it's not like they made a real difference. Maybe it changes later on, idk, I did not read the entire thing, which I think I've mentioned somewhere earlier?

I wouldn't say that the points are terrible. I would say, however, that I expect different things from fiction than you do. I would say that I pay attention to different details than you do. And that we simply think and analyze differently. And I would say that I stopped reading.

Then again I may be wrong, you may be right and my whole line of reasoning is shit. Who knows? Defo not me, prolly not you, so I will leave it to the people bored enough to read this thread to decide.

𓆩♡𓆪𝓣𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓪𝓛𝓾𝓿𝔃𓆩♡𓆪149 days ago(-1)

Since you stopped reading early on and there's only seven chapters it makes sense!

Again, notable skills ae throughout it, but a big one comes in chapter seven, I assume you didn't read that far.

Ahlf spends most of his time fishing to provide for him and the MC so he wouldn't have the time to teach them anything. There were NO kind grandma's or kind people in that prejudice village. The only knowledge MC got was from books that Ahlf owned.

There wasn't anybody else to take care of Irus after Ahlf died. There was no later, Irus needed a companion and MC needed to carry out their fathers mission. If MC didn't accompany Irus as his protector/ advisor there would be no reason to accompany him at all because he wouldn't need them. Irus came to the village seeking Ahlf not MC, but since Ahlf died MC was all he had. It's not like either of them had proper training since Irus wasn't raised to be king.

Ahlf may have known the past would catch up with him, but if he did he likely would have tried to run with Irus and MC. He left his lil death note thinking more so if it happened not when it happened. If Ahlf had survived the village attack and escaped with Irus and MC, he would have started teaching them self defense and battle stuff then. All of that is gained through Oren, reading and experience though.

I will agree with you that the only time we've seen the non-character stats come into play is when you ask to learn about politics with Elora and you use that knowledge with the businessman Irus was hanging out with at the ball. This is only an early version so it will probably come into play later.

I'm responding with this all out of order but, the author could only make so many reactions. You could be indifferent, angry, sad, etc.. in response to the happenings. For example, after Ahlf dies, MC is sat at a river and you get to choose how they respond to his passing. I personally chose anger, and later (if you're not mean to Irus)he'll ask you how you felt about it. The emotions you chose at the river will come flooding back to you. This is minor but a consistent point!

When you say it influences MC's behavior bot not the outcome this is true, but nothing to do with MC'S choices. Take it like this, you have a crush on somebody who isn't attracted to you. You befriend them and try really hard to become more than friends but that just won't happen because they aren't attracted to you! No matter how had MC tries or doesn't tries, there will always be a wall in theirs and Ahlf father daughter relationship because Ahlf will not allow them to grow any closer to him.

The same thing goes for this debate I guess! I really enjoyed it though, but if you have different tastes then not much can be done, lol. I don't know if anybody will read this book of a thread but if they do then they might allow us some third party insight on this!