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(+5)

hello! i agree the beginning is railroady. i felt the mc needed to make an unsavoury choice to get caught up in the chaos and set up the rest of the story, so i stand by it haha. for now, the ride refusal is the only 'end game' scenario i have planned. thank you for giving the story a second chance though 😁

(-7)

that's fair. but as a player i feel like it was a bit silly on an abrupt false end when the game seems to very-much not be the type. you could raise the stakes into a situation where the clear choice is like.. handcuffs or worse? leaves the bpc making that choice, and leaves it in a plausable place for "well I've come THIS far may as well keep truckin. I'll stop backseat writing now lol, your stuff is great i am just critiqing nitpicking 👌 thanks for sharing your stuff with us