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(+1)

Played through this demo just now and really enjoyed it. I like the concept, the initial depictions of the world, and the way the prose communicates the physicality of being on a long journey. I love the descriptions and interactions with the peninsula's wildlife and the thought given to how this society operates. I know the music is meant to be temporary but it fits the style of the game quite well. The attitude system is also an interesting concept.

I have a few comments:

-As others have pointed out, there are many, many grammar and spelling errors. However, they don't interfere with comprehension for the most part, so I didn't feel like they were a huge deal at this stage. There was one exception, though: the text minigame prompt being "What are you looking for" and not "What will you look at" or something similar made me think I needed some specific goal or item in mind. The initial answer being "floor" doesn't make sense in that context (the floor is right there, why do I need to look for it?)

-The conversation with the soldiers felt less like a conversation and more like reading several encyclopedia entries. I understand the need to communicate details of the world to the player, but I think they should be spaced apart more and introduced more naturally, especially because I think this world is an interesting place.

-Most of the dialogue choices with the soldiers boiled down to "be an asshole" vs "don't be an asshole", which is never that compelling in video games. I think it'd be more interesting if the conversation was based around the two groups' lack of initial trust in each other, which they could then develop... or not. As is, there didn't seem to be a reason for me to ever not be polite.

(Damn it, and I thought my English got so much better! I have to be more careful!)

I mean, ahem, ahem!

Dear Mr. Hepto, : )

Thank you so much not only for your encouragement, but also for such a gently presented and fair criticism! I want to make it as clear as I can that the things that you've listed are all on my "to do" list, even though I'm not entirely able to agree with your suggestion about "What will you look at." I'll keep thinking, however, about a better way to say "What do you want to pay attention to or look for or interact with right now in hope to find new clues and move forward," I'm sure there's a way to make it feel smoother. : P

There are things that I really want to change in this demo, but I've decided to move forward and push toward finishing the rest of the game. Then I can rewrite the prologue so it would better reflect what's necessary to prepare the player for the rest of their adventure. I also have in mind new ways to convey information, ways that I know worked quite well in other RPGs I've played. 

I can be terribly perfectionistic, so I have to force myself to not spend too much time revisiting the same thing over and over again. I'm sorry the game isn't as good right now as it should be, but I promise I'm going to make it proud of the final product!

Once again, thank you so much and I'm glad that you've enjoyed your time as a roadwarden. : )

- Aureus