Legit thought it might have been a cultural thing for some places haha. For the record, my reaction was also meant to be satirical (although my confusion/curiosity was genuine).
I was undecided between you being sarcastic and you being a dick, to be honest, but I'm glad to see that my gut feeling was right and it was just conversation via internet being hard again. Damn lack of inflection in written conversation. :P
Anyway, those tip numbers would be horrible, yeah. But the tipping system is nasty in general. Decidedly not a fan of it.