This one was really compelling - I love a good space battle story. The little details (like the spacesuits being called 'tangerines' because of their color) helped to flesh out the setting and make it feel lived-in. I think that some of your section breaks could have used a few lines at the beginning of each to really set the stage and add some clarity; in my opinion, that's the only thing holding this good story back from being a great one.