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Oh my goodness, I fully relate to this 100%! I used to be too shy to get on voice chat, let alone video, let alone on a Twitch stream... and then I started doing it and it wasn't bad! I loved providing representation (I discovered in late 2021 that I'm a transgender woman) and being able to show off things others create. But... it quickly became a chore. Viewership went up a little (from like 0 viewers to like 3-4 lol) for a bit and then when the consistency disappeared, so did the viewers (I'm bipolar so I'm rarely consistent). 

Even though I love it and don't even care about how many people watch, really and truly, I felt like I wasn't fully portraying... ME. 

I really hope that you're able to continue creating, and that you find your stride (or, since it's been a while, that you already have) 🧡. But know that, even if you haven't, you're still valid, still awesome, and still doing great!

- ✨Beth

Oh, and we recently binged Friday Night Lights on Netflix so I 100% got that reference :D


Thank you so much! I just logged in for the first time in a while, and I can't believe I made this last August. WOW. I love making stuff on the internet! Isn't it the best? But that consistency will kick your butt. Your story sounds so much like my story, too. 

I decided last December to take a real extended hiatus and do literally nothing (except my day job and keeping myself alive), and it's only now that I'm actually feeling that itch to make again. I REALLY needed that time off, and I still don't quite know what I'm going to do next, but at least I'm still a person who WANTS to make things. 

Aaaaawwww well yay, I'm so glad that you took a break and didn't force yourself to create when you didn't feel like it! And it's great to have that feeling come back! I totally get that too: I love getting away from creating for a while until I REALLY WANNA do it again. Then there's that surge of passion and excitement that's been gone for a long time, and the sense of like... commitment goes away 🥳