Oh my goodness, I fully relate to this 100%! I used to be too shy to get on voice chat, let alone video, let alone on a Twitch stream... and then I started doing it and it wasn't bad! I loved providing representation (I discovered in late 2021 that I'm a transgender woman) and being able to show off things others create. But... it quickly became a chore. Viewership went up a little (from like 0 viewers to like 3-4 lol) for a bit and then when the consistency disappeared, so did the viewers (I'm bipolar so I'm rarely consistent).
Even though I love it and don't even care about how many people watch, really and truly, I felt like I wasn't fully portraying... ME.
I really hope that you're able to continue creating, and that you find your stride (or, since it's been a while, that you already have) 🧡. But know that, even if you haven't, you're still valid, still awesome, and still doing great!
- ✨Beth