So I came to a conclusion in a fever dream that the matchmaking is amazing, but the guests with refreshed cookie caches are tossing off the algorithm. It most likely considers them 10 EXP even if they are masking pro level experience(100+). In essence, you could stack a side with an unknown variable to match your high skill.
Example:
Guest 908(unknown variable:10EXP but truly 90EXP)
You(200EXP)[I know definitely more in the real algo]
Chasemate47(with account 90 EXP)
Guest 303(unknown variable, but played a little bit that day20EXP)
Guest 168(unknown variable:10EXP, but truly 70EXP)
Guest 869(unknown variable, but played enough to get 20 EXP)
N1Cats are Cute!(with account 90EXP)
Redteam Surface:200EXP but truly 340.
Blue team total: 240EXP
This could mean that the next player to join the match would still go to red team because on the surface they are less EXPed. I know this was long but I hope it shines a light on a potential exploit in the matchmaking that has left me sleepless after every skill tissue loss.