Pat her head > make her smile, once there's two hearts, move on to the next choices. Three hearts for those will get unlocked once you max out kissing and showing her tongue
She always declines to kiss or show her tongue, so I thought that wasn't an option. I'll give it another go, do I need to do more night actions to get a kiss?
No, just do it in the order it shows from left to right. Ask her to show you her ass, then move on to kisses, tongue showing. It's really simple there.