Neat! I really like the way this game looks and every bit of text is funny. I do also wish there were sound, but yeah, unfortunately life is a thing that exists.
It took a bit to figure out what was going on, but once I got it I had a good time. It is very difficult to survive for more than like three days, though, until I unlocked the plague. Then it got pretty easy
FYI there seems to be a bug on Firefox where the item descriptions and spawn and gold counter don't render after the second day for some reason. It worked like a charm in Chrome, though.