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(+1)

first page of the prologue: "led eyes upon".

don't remember where nut you have the word "enoug" I think might be missing an 'h'.


and y'know just my preferences talking here but.. found the bit of railroading repeating text a little jarring in a way that wasn't my vibe. also a lot of dripping dialogue lol, why not have some sentences drip with this tone but have the next one laced with it's own and the NEXT honeyed in it's tone and etc etc 👀


Loving it so far and always thrilled to follow a rad newly discovered writer! Waiting with bated breath for more!

(+1)

Hello, I'm glad you enjoyed it! 💗

"Led eyes upon" is actually correct grammar, I didn't mean for it to be "Laid eyes upon". I'll try to look for the missing h part haha 😂

Dripping dialogue was only used about 4 times in the demo but I went and saw that it was all towards the end so I understand why it felt like a lot.

I have a "report bugs" form on the pinned post on my tumblr blog, if you find anything else like typos then let me know! Thank you.

(+1)

Huh, I would have thought it'd be lie eyes upon. MY BAD 😞