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(-1)

I love this game. I has a nice story line. I'm not being critical but if you want to improve the dialog and story logic, there are many places where this can be done. First of all, the word "got" is so overused and used improperly. Its actually the past tense of get. Often times the word have or has is the correct word not got. Hazelnut says she will make an exception and give him a hand. Really, an exception? Who else has she been jacking off? To have an exception there must be the standard rule but he's the only man so there is no established standard. Alright is not a proper word. Its better to use all right or okay depending on the context. Also, even though the sentence had proper grammar, an english speaker would never speak that way, for example. I would never say, "I'm going to go give her comfort," an English speaker would say, "I'm going to comfort her." It's better to use the verb comfort than the noun form. Thank you. Keep up the good work.

(+1)

Thanks for the feedback, it's difficult to correct such things, as English, is my third language, and I don't have any native Engish speaker in the staff or as tester.

Completely understandable and please know that I'm not complaining, I just wanted to bring it to your attention. I really enjoy this story and looking forward to the next chapter.

(5 edits)

He is completely wrong about alright. It is and has been a proper word in English for well over 100 years. There are a few ignorant people that insist that it isn't correct, but it has long been recognized as acceptable even in academic settings. He is technically correct about "got," but he's also wrong. If you were writing a paper for a school or professional organization you wouldn't want to use "got" the way you are, but people have long used it incorrectly in informal speech. It is  acceptable to as a sort of slang. People in native English speaking  countries use it the way you used it quite often.

(+1)

no, your all wrong.
it's *obtained*